Zehn Jahre lang habe ich meinen Jahresrückblick auf Englisch geschrieben. Zeit für etwas Neues. Heute nehme ich mir vor, die nächsten zehn Jahresrückblicke auf Deutsch zu schreiben. Danach…werden wir sehen, wo ich dann stehe.

Ich bleibe meinem komischen System treu und gehe nach den Buchstaben des Alphabets. Nicht chronologisch, nicht groß überlegend sondern einfach das, was spontan erzählt werden möchte. Am Ende bin ich immer wieder erstaunt, wie gut diese 26 Buchstaben mein Jahr zusammenfassen. Los gehts: 

Achtsam Morden  — Ich fange an mit dem vermutlich prägendsten Moment meines letzten Jahres: mit der Nacht vom Dienstag auf Mittwoch, den 27. August, in der ich gegen 4 Uhr nachts die Entscheidung traf, in die Notaufnahme zu gehen. Ich habe niemanden geweckt. Ich wusste nur: So kann es nicht weiter gehen. Irgendetwas muss ich tun. Und dann bin ich in der Dunkelheit losgelaufen. Erst zum EVK, und die schickten mich dann ins Marien-Krankenhaus. Schmerzmittel, Untersuchungen, MRT, EKG, frag mich nicht mehr nach den Details, denn es ist alles etwas verschommen. Auf jeden Fall habe ich mich kurz vor acht wieder selbst entlassen und mich beim Arzt für drei Tage krankschreiben lassen. Unterwegs habe ich noch frische Brötchen geholt. Ich kam nun mal am Bäcker vorbei…Zu Hause habe ich mich ins Bett gelegt und als wäre einen Schalter umgelegt, konnte ich endlich friedlich schlafen. Die nächsten Tage verbrachte ich abwechselnd in der Hängematte, im Bett und dann doch immer wieder kurz am Rechner. An dem Freitag war nämlich Abgabetermin meines TÜV KI-Strategieberater-Zertifizierungspapier. 

Und jetzt kommt endlich das A von Achtsam Morden ins Spiel. Dieses Hörbuch hat mich durch diese Tage hindurchgetragen. Es war die entspannte Stimme, die herrlich skurrile Geschichte, und sicherlich auch die völlige Annahme der Situation und die Achtsamkeit mir selbst gegenüber. Diese drei Tage kennzeichnen das Ende von einer Phase, die gefüllt unendlich viel länger schien, als sie dann wirklich war. Während ich es jetzt so aufschreibe, waren es im Prinzip “nur” 10 Tage zwischen den 16. August und dieser Nacht. Du willst den Auslöser wissen 🙂 Dann ab zum Buchstabe G oder einfach weiterlesen und alles wird am Ende schon seinen Sinn haben. Auf jeden Fall habe ich das Hörbuch “Achtsam Morden” gleich mit 5 Sterne bewertet. Und falls ich je wieder in einer solchen Lage landen sollte, werde ich früher danach greifen.

Die besten Ärzte der Welt sind: Dr. Sport, Dr. Ruhe und Dr. Fröhlichkeit. Und Bücher!

Blumenfeld — Dreimal am Tag ist bei uns Spazieren angesagt. Und zwar mit Hazel, unserer treuen Begleiterin seit fast schon wieder fünf Jahren. Die meisten dieser Runden mache ich selbst und das tue ich wirklich sehr gerne. Dieses Jahr waren auf dem Feld an unserem beliebten Feldweg entlang endlos viele Blumen gepflanzt worden: zum Selbstbedienen, mit einem kleinen Kästchen für Münzen oder auch Scheine, je nachdem, wie sehr man die Blumen geliebt hat. Und das habe ich! Ich habe mich wirklich sehr gefreut auf die Blumenphasen; von Tulpen im Frühling, zu Gladiolen und Dahlien im Hochsommer, zu Sonnenblumen im Spätsommer. Jede einzelne eine Freude fürs Herz. 

Blumen sind das Lächeln der Erde.

Café Almondie —Unsere Tochter flog Ende November 2024 nach Bangkok. Geplant waren vier Monate Reisen durch Asien. Am Ende wurde ein halbes Jahr daraus. In der Nacht meines Geburtstages flog sie heim, und beim Frühstück im Café Almondie erzählte sie mir von all den Orten, die sie bereist hatte, und all den Menschen, die sie kennengelernt hatte. Und ich war froh und dankbar für diese großartige Erfahrung, die immer ein Teil von ihr sein wird. Auch ich bin mit neunzehn auf eine weite, mehrjährige Reise gegangen, und sie prägt mich bis heute. 

Zögere nie, weit fortzugehen, hinter alle Meere, alle Grenzen, alle Länder, allen Glaubens. — Amin Maalouf

Die Prophetin Sisu —Mein zweites Buch ist fertig! Und zwar wiederum in drei Sprachen. Über ein Jahr schrieb ich an einem Buch, das am Ende weniger als 10.000 Wörter enthält. Es ist pure Essenz. Es enthält Gespräche über die Liebe, Verlust und Urvertrauen. Es ist mir sehr ans Herz gewachsen. Es gibt ein dreiseitiges Exposé, und ich wollte mich wirklich auf die Suche begeben nach einem Agenten und somit nach einem Verlag. Aber ich merke, dass ich viel lieber schreibe, als Anschreiben zu verfassen. Daher habe ich mich nun endlich fürs Self-Publishing entschieden. Das Ziel ist, bis zu meinem nächsten Geburtstag beide Bücher in den Handel zu bringen. Vermutlich über BOD (Book on Demand) und Amazon. Mittlerweile schreibe ich an drei weiteren Büchern, und auch wenn ich keinerlei Druck spüre, bin ich mir gewiss: Es werden noch viele weitere Bücher kommen. 

Ich brauche keinen Wecker. Meine Ideen wecken mich auf. — Ray Bradbury

Euthanasie— Ein Wort, das aus dem Alt-Griechischen stammt und “Sterbehilfe” bedeutet. In Deutschland wurde es leider während des Holocaust brutal zweckentfremdet. Als Holländerin verbinde ich diese Wort dennoch mit Selbstbestimmung. Es will wohlüberlegt sein, wie alles was derart unumkehrbar ist. Mein Tante Annie fand zum Glück einen Arzt, der sie begleitete. Einen Tag bevor sie starb, sprachen wir noch kurz per Videochat. Sie war froh und munter und mehr als bereit zu gehen. Sie versprach mir, Bescheid zu geben, wie es dort drüben ist, wenn es ihr möglich sein sollte. Wir lachten um ihr Versprechen, wohl wissend, dass jeder es erst wissen wird, wenn es dann auch für ihn so weit ist. Es kommt noch etwas nach diesem Leben, keine Ahnung was. Aber das was ich weiß, würde ich keinen Glauben nennen, sondern ein tiefes Wissen, das irgendwo herstammt. Und die Tatsache, dass ich nicht weiß woher, tut für mich daran überhaupt keinen Abbruch. Auch Wendy, tapfere, mutige Wendy, wollte selbstbestimmt Abschied nehmen. Leider fand sie keinen Arzt, der bereit war, diesen Weg mit ihr zu gehen. Auch in Holland gibt es Bürokratie und Hürden, über die man sich nur wundern kann. Aber auch sie fand ihren Weg ins Jenseits. Sie hat ihre letzten Monaten, ganz offen auf Social Media geteilt und damit vielen Menschen inspiriert und den Tod ein wenig seinen Schrecken genommen. Ich glaube, das ist wichtig, denn er gehört zum Leben, ob wir das nun wollen oder nicht. 

… ich glaube, daß wann der Tod unsre Augen schließt, wir in einem Licht stehn, von welchem unser Sonnenlicht nur der Schatten ist. — Arthur Schopenhauer

Feiern — Auch das taten wir ausgiebig in 2025. Wir feierten Geburtstage von Freunden, die Studio-54-Feier meines Schwagers in Utrecht war der Hammer. Die Sommer-Hochzeit von Jascha und Sarah war wunderschön. Der Glühweinumtrunk im Wendehammer brachte wieder ganz erfolgreich 1.000 zusammen für den guten Zweck. Und auch Weiberfastnacht, die Stunksitzung und die legendäre WIRmachenDRUCK Sommerfeier waren absolut mega. Unser größtes Highlight des Jahres war unsere eigene 50+50 Party in der Groove Bar, wo wir mit endlos vielen Freunden, Kollegen, Nachbarn gebührend das Leben gefeiert haben. Auch meine liebe Freundin Corinne aus der Schweiz war da. Wir sehen uns viel zu selten, und hatten auch am Tag danach eine wunderschöne Zeit zum Reconnecten. Es gibt nichts, was so gut tut als eine Umarmung, um langen Verbindungen wieder neues Leben einzuhauchen. 

Ein Leben ohne Feste ist wie eine lange Wanderung ohne Einkehr. — Demokrit

Gesichtsschmuck / Gellack / Germany’s Next Speaker Star —  Schon in 2024 hatte ich mich bei Germany’s Next Speaker Star beworben und dabei so wahnsinnig viele tolle neue Menschen kennengelernt, dass ich auch in 2025 dabei sein wollte. Das Motto “Gemeinsam Wachsen und Gutes Tun” passt zu allem, woran ich glaube. Ich hatte dieses Jahr überhaupt nicht vor, weiterzukommen. Ich wollte einfach nur Teil davon sein. Ich habe während der ersten Votingphase auch nicht um Stimmen geworben, sondern stattdessen alle >500 Kandidaten-Videos angeschaut. Auf YouTube habe ich knapp 100 Videos gepostet, mit meinen Favoriten. Als dann der Call kam, wer in der Top 20 war, war ich beschäftigt mit dem Abgleichen meiner Favoritenlisten mit denen der Jury. Bis mir klar wurde, dass ich selbst in die Top 20 gelandet war. Ach du heilige Scheiße. 

Gefreut habe ich mich dann, und mir vieeel zu vieeel gedanken gemacht, was ich dort anziehen würde. Mit dem Ergebnis war ich schlussendlich sehr zufrieden. Es war voll und ganz ich, und ich habe es gefeiert. Ich war vor meinem Auftritt auch eigentlich nicht mal nervös. Es sollte einfach kommen, wie es kommen soll. Das Wort “eigentlich” ist hier jedoch passend. Denn was ich nicht habe kommen sehen, ist der Moment, nachdem ich die Bühne nach meinem Zwei-Minuten Auftritt wieder verließ. Ich hatte einen Durst, den ich zuvor wohl noch nie erlebt habe. Mein ganzer Körper war, ja, wie soll ich das beschreiben. Wenn man mir in diesem Moment einen Bären gegenüber gestellt hätte oder mich in eine Galdiatorenarena geschickt hätte: Ich glaube, ich hätte gesiegt. Ha, ha, ich kann jetzt wirklich drüber lachen. Aber krass war es. Kein rasendes Herz übrigens. Auch kein Magendruck oder so was. Aber jede Faser meines Körpers war auf Hochspannung. Und das sollte in den nächsten zehn Tage so bleiben. 

Ich war hilflos. An Schlaf war nicht zu denken. Ich versuchte alles Mögliche, um die Spannung abzubauen. Inklusive mich am Boden zu legen und mich komplett die Erde anzuvertrauen. Ich ging in die Sauna (La Forja de Fuego, Temperatur: 90 °C, die heißeste des Hauses). In den Aufguss “La Confianza” und es war ein irre schöner Moment. Ich fuhr mit dem E-bike wieder nach Hause und fühlte mich einfach nur reich. Ich tanze zum ersten Mal in meinem Leben Ecstatic Dance — oder sowas ähnliches —  und auch das tut gut. Ich schrieb Seiten voll. Und ging in aller Ruhe spazieren. Ich kuschelte mit Hazel und versuchte ihre Hunde-Ruhe auf mich zu übertragen. Aber was ich auch tat, die Spannung ließ einfach nicht ab. Ich lernte mich in gewisser Hinsicht nochmal neu kennen. Dieses hilflos dem eigenen Körper ausgesetzt zu sein, hatte ich in dieser Intensität noch nicht erleben dürfen. Ich war dann auch sehr dankbar, als ich den Weg da wieder rausfand. Es war kein Ort zum Verweilen. Wie man es auch dreht oder wendet: Ich bin mal wieder eine Erfahrung reicher. 

Wir glauben, Erfahrungen zu machen, aber die Erfahrungen machen uns. — Eugène Ionesco

HubSpot— Meine Arbeit hatte dieses Jahr ein ganz klarer Überschrift: das CRM-Tool HubSpot. Das ganze Jahr habe ich zusammen mit einer lieben Kollegin und vielen weiteren fleißige Hände und schlauen Köpfen unablässig daran gearbeitet, eine zentrale Kundensicht aufzubauen. Jeden Tag begegneten uns neue Herausforderungen und Wünsche, und zugleich kamen wir aber auch täglich ein Stückchen weiter. Und diese Kombi ist einfach unschlagbar und motiviert sehr, am Ball zu bleiben. Das taten wir! Ich bin froh und stolz auf das, was wir dort erschaffen haben, und freue mich, in 2026 die Früchte davon zu sehen. Auf der Suche nach einem passenden Zitat stieß ich auf diesen Spruch von Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach: “Der von Schaffensfreude spricht, hat höchstens Mücken geboren.” Es ließ mich herzlichst lachen. Ich glaube aber, das stimmt so nicht. Auch aus und mit Freude wurde vieles erschaffen. 

Ganz gleich was wir tun, tun wir es mit Begeisterung! — Bertolt Brecht

iamcoaching.me— Vielleicht zu früh, überhaupt drüber zu reden, denn noch ist nichts entstanden. Dennoch, der Wunsch ist ganz klar neu entfacht. Diese Domain, die schon vor zehn Jahren mir gehörte, habe ich damals gehen lassen und letztes Jahr erneut gekauft. Es will dort etwas entstehen. Etwas zum Thema Sein und Werden. Ich lernte kürzlich über die beiden Begriffe “Seeker” und “Presence”. Arthur C Brooks nutzt diese Messgrößen, um klar zu machen, dass Seeker oft sehr intensiv nach Sinn suchen, während Presence für die erlebte Anwesenheit von Sinn steht. Die beiden Begriffe sind jedoch keine Gegensätze, sondern es ergeben sich vier Felder: 

High Search / Low Presence: Suchmodus — viel Fragen, wenig Ankommen („nie genug“). 
High Search / High Presence: Explorer mit Landepunkten — neugierig, die Fragen liebend, ohne Antworten zu jagen.
Low Search / High Presence: Verankert — wenig Grübeln, viel Sinn durch Bindung/Tradition/Stabilität. Kann sehr gesund sein — kann aber auch erstarren, wenn’s nur Abwehr von Neuem ist.
Low Search / Low Presence: Abgekoppelt — weder Suche noch Sinngefühl (oft: leer, müde, entfremdet).

Ich ordne mich ganz klar in der zweite Gruppe ein, und ich glaube, es lohnt sich, diesen Gedanke weiter zu explorieren. 

Höhepunkt des Glücks ist es, wenn der Mensch bereit ist, das zu sein, was er ist. — Erasmus von Rotterdam

Justus — Letztes Jahr wurde unsere Familie mit dem kleinen Oos bereichert. Dieses Jahr kam gleich noch ein weiterer Fratz dazu. Der kleine süße Baby Justus. Meine Schwägerin ist nun Oma, obwohl sie immer noch aussieht wie Anfang vierzig. Und unser aller Herz geht auf, wenn man in diese kleine Gesichte schaut. Und das gilt nicht nur für uns, wir dürften erneut sehen, wie sehr auch Hazel Kinder liebt. 

Das Wunder des Lebens zu begreifen, heißt es in Händen zu halten. 

KI-Strategie-Berater-Zertifizierung— 2025 stand im Zeichen von KI. In Januar der KI-Summit, wo die erste Zertifizierung, der Höhepunkt war von einer Reise, die schon in 2024 volle Fahrt aufgenommen hatte. Ein 350-seitiges Kompendium, viele Stunden und ein Living-Case für das Eventteam von Mainz05. Wir präsentierten unsere Ergebnisse mit viel Spaß und Elan und freuten uns über die begeisterte Rückmeldungen. Im Herbst ging es dann weiter mit der TÜV Zertifizierung. Diese Bestand aus einem Papier, einem Multiple Choice Test und einer mündlichen Prüfung. Seit Ende September bin ich nun offiziell KI-Strategieberaterin mit TÜV Rheinland geprüfte Qualifikation. Und ich scherzte, dass es sich fast schon wie eine Einbürgerung anfühlte. Und auch wenn ich keine Beraterin im klassischen Sinne bin, so kann ich doch KI nicht mehr aus meinem Leben denken. 

Man muss viel gelernt haben, um über das, was man nicht weiß, fragen zu können. — Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Lüttich — Kunst, Kultur und leckeres Essen. Diese Ingredienzen dürfen nie fehlen, wenn wir einen Familienausflug machen. Und so blicke ich zurück auf schöne Familientage in Lüttich. Eine Ausstellung in einem alten Schwimmbad. Second-Hand Shopping. Fantastischer Lunch in einem Lokal, wo man besser nicht vom Boden essen sollte. Ich freue mich sehr, dass ich meine Familie derart lieb habe und jeder für sich eine Inspiration für mich ist. Das ist nicht selbstverständlich. 

Familien sind wie Äste an einem Baum, wir wachsen in verschiedene Richtungen, doch unsere Wurzeln bleiben eins.

Miracle Roadmap — Irgendwann Mitte des Jahres sah ich den Film über Tony Robbins “Not your Guru”, und obwohl ich ihn zwischen Tür und Angel schaute, berührte mich dieser Film tief. Transformationsprozess sind etwas kras Besonderes. Da entschied ich mich, etwas zu tun, was ich mir schon einige Mal überlegt hatte, aber noch nie “gegönnt” hatte: eines der Programme von David & Arjan, zwei Holländer, die sich vor Jahren vorgenommen hatten, die Niederlande zum glücklichsten Land der Welt zu machen, und jüngst ihre Mission geändert haben in Weltfrieden. 

Den Miracle Roadmap ist ein Weg zum inneren Frieden, ein innerer Frieden, der dazu führt, dass man liebender in die Welt steht. Dass der Blick liebevoller wird, sowohl auf sich selbst als auf alles um einen herum. Und wenn alle Menschen Frieden im Inneren spüren, dann wird die Welt zu einem anderen Ort. Ein sehr großes Vorhaben, könnte man sagen. Und da kann ich nur zustimmen. Aber irgendwo muss es ja anfangen. Früher habe ich gedacht es fängt an beim “Man in the mirror”, aber no man is an island. Und so wurde ich Teil von etwa 1.000 Menschen und 16 im ganz besonderen, mit denen ich eine hundertägige Reise antrat. Jeden Tag ein Video-Impuls. Vier Live Tage. Vier Online Seminare und viele weitere mit meinem “Circle 36”. 

Was hat es dir gebracht? fragte eine Freundin, und ganz ehrlich, ich bin immer noch am Verarbeiten. Es ist ein weiterer Baustein meiner Lebensphilosophie. Ein Way of Life. In dem man gemeinsam wächst, sich traut, dorthin zu schauen, wo andere gerne wegschauen. Wo man vergibt, wo man tröstet, wo man tanzt, wo man lacht, wo man liebt. Eine wunderbare Wunder-Reise. 

Das Schönste, was wir erleben können, ist das Geheimnisvolle. — Albert Einstein

Narkose— Hazel hat in 2025 leider einen ihrer Backenzähne in zwei gebissen. Sie kaut unglaublich gerne und hat immer mal wieder einen Stück Geweih bekommen. Dieses Stück Hirschgeweih war allerdings länger und flacher als die vorherigen Stücke. Ich vermute es hatte zuviel Hebelwirkung. Dumm gelaufen. Andere Hunde kauen vielleicht eher darauf, aber Hazel isst dieses Teile und dabei war sie wohl zu enthusiastisch. Sie hat im Prinzip genau deswegen, weil sie so gerne kaut, super Zähne. Aber gut, da war nichts mehr zu machen, der Backenzahn musste raus. Ich wusste allerdings nicht, dass beim Hund ein solcher Backenzahn gleich drei Wurzel hat. Entsprechend langwierig war dieser OP. Anderhalb Stunden Narkose und eine Reihe Röntgenbilder später lag unser Hundi auf einem großen Wärmekissen und wedelte fleißig, als sie mich sah. Sie wollte sofort wieder aufstehen, aber ihre Pfötchen machten das erst mal nicht mit. Ich war sowohl beim Narkotisieren dabei als beim Aufwachen und das war schon eine besondere Erfahrung. Ich bin froh über den sehr kompetenten und freundlichen Arzt und dass wir das auch wieder hinter uns haben. 

Ein Hund weiß nicht, wie man Liebe schreibt, aber er weiß, wie man sie täglich zeigt.

Ostsee — 2025 entschieden wir uns für einen Sommerurlaub in Deutschland. Wir fuhren in gen Nordost. Zuerst an den Werbellinsee und dann weiter hoch an die Ostsee. Die Landschaft war wunderschön. Nur leider gab es zwei Wochen lang Regen. Und nicht nur ein kleines bisschen, sondern Regen, Regen, Regen. Die Badewiese war derart nass, dass die Enten dort schwammen! Was Hazel wiederum große Freude bereitete. 

Der Vorteil dieses Wetters war, dass es sehr einfach war, mal absolut nichts zu tun, ohne jeglichen Drang etwas unternehmen zu “müssen”. An der Ostsee besserte das Wetter sogar ein wenig, nur war durch die regnerischen Tage die Mückenpopulation derart explodiert, dass selbst mit Mückenspray das Draußensein keinen wirklichen Spaß machte. Ich wollte in der goldene Stunde die Blumen fotografieren und bin wieder hereingeflüchtet, mit einer derart zerstochenen Lippe, dass ich aussah, als hätte mich jemanden eine reingehauen. Und doch, wenn ich die Bilder anschaue, dann ist klar, es gab immer wieder sehr schöne Momente, und wir haben es uns einfach schön gemacht. Auf dem Rückweg sind wir bei lieben Freunden vorbeigefahren, und als für einen Moment kurz vor dem Abendessen die Sonne sogar herauskam, haben wir die Gelegenheit gleich beim Schopf gepackt und sind mit dem Boot herausgefahren. Traumhaft. 

Es sind immer die kleinen Momente, die die Summe des Lebens ausmachen. 

PhiloTactics™ — Voll Feuer und Flamme habe ich losgelegt. Jahrelang stand es auf meiner Liste, einen Newsletter anzubieten. 2025 tat ich es dann endlich. Eine neue Webseite www.futuraphilos.com entstand und dazu der PhiloTactics™ Newsletter. Vier mal die Woche ging der gleiche Impuls heraus, jeweils anders formuliert, je nach DISG Typ. 22 Wochen lang. Und dann war ich raus (sehe A und G) und kam auch nicht wieder rein. Eigentlich wollte ich erst nach 42 Wochen entscheiden, ob es weiter gehen würde oder nicht. Jetzt ließ ich die Entscheidung eher über mich ergehen. 

Und doch, es war okay so. Vielleicht war der Newsletter zu taktisch. Gut strukturiert, womöglich zu gut. Es gibt so endlos viel Content. Wobei, ich las gerade einige Beiträge auf www.futuraphilos.com und sie berührten mich. Es war ganz sicher nicht umsonst. Alles was wir machen, macht etwas mit uns. Und dies war für mich ein wichtiger Schritt. Vor allem der Teil der Webseite Mensch & KI im Dialog liegt mir am Herzen. Mal sehen, was daraus in Zukunft vielleicht doch noch entstehen wird.

Auch Umwege erweitern unseren Horizont. — Ernst Ferstl

Querstraße— Wir wohnen in einer kleinen Querstraße, die zugleich einer Sackgasse ist, von einer wiederum größeren Sackgasse. Unsere Garage ist ein Stück von Haus entfernt. Und diese Garage hat seitlich eine Wand, die etwa 5 x 2,5 Meter groß ist. Bis zu meinem Geburstag war dieser Wand weiß (oder so in etwa). Jetzt aber wurde daraus ein Kunstwerk. Meine Kinder übernahmen die Vorarbeit. Und dann kamen meine Geschwister, mein Schwager und meine Mama zur Besuch und haben einen Tag lang alles gegeben und ein Werk meines Papas auf der Garagenwand verewigt. Ein großartiges Geburtstagsgeschenk! Es ist mir richtig ans Herz gewachsen. 

Das schönste Denkmal, das ein Mensch bekommen kann, steht in den Herzen seiner Mitmenschen.  — Albert Schweitzer

Reime— Meine Schwester hatte eine fantastische Idee und schlug vor, unser ehemaliges Haus zu mieten und ein großes Sinterklaas-Fest zu organisieren. Wie in alten Zeiten, als wir selbst noch klein waren. Der Tradition nach sind die Geschenke weniger wichtig als die Verpackung und das begleitende Gedicht. Es wurde aus allen Registern gezogen, und bald lag neben dem Kamin ein Riesenhaufen Geschenke aufgestapelt. Einige Gedichte rührten gar zu Tränchen. Und Oos wurde so reich beschenkt, dass mein Bruder nicht mehr wusste, wie alles noch im Auto passen sollte. Ein rundum gelungenes Fest. 

Tradition muss man leben und gestalten. — Thorsten Troschka

Serfaus— Etwas anderes, was mittlerweile Tradition geworden ist, sind die gemeinsamen Skiferien in Serfaus. Tagsüber auf die Piste, abends Gesellschaftsspiele. Und noch vor der Piste ein Spaziergang mit Hazel. Ich bin zwar ein Kind des Meeres, aber die Berge habe ich sehr lieb gewonnen. Wie kann man nicht verzaubert sein von einer so zauberhaften Aussicht?

Nur wo du zu Fuß warst, bist du wirklich gewesen. — Goethe

“Total Look” Luxemburg— Das Wochenende Luxemburg war eigentlich ein Geschenk für meinem Mann zum fünfzigsten Geburtstag, aber am Ende war es fast mehr ein Geschenk an mich selbst 😉 Wir haben es beide sehr genossen, auch wenn unsere Airbnb leider einen Heizungsausfall hatte und wir an einem Abend mit unseren Jacken an einen Film geschaut haben. Luxemburg City is eine tolle Stadt. Auf dem Weg zum Dinner in the Dark sind wir durch die schöne Altstadt, durch den Wald und dann an einer hypermodernen City-Line vorbeigelaufen. Jeder Abschnitt war so entschieden anders, dass es eine kleine Abenteuerspaziergang war. 

Und dann kam mein Highlight; ich fand einen Second-Hand Geschäft, der im Nu mein Herz besaß. Ich bin mit einer Riesentasche wunderschöner Sachen herausspaziert, und am Tag darauf gleich nochmal hingegangen. Und wie sagt man so schön, Frau Happy, Mann Happy 😉 In dem Fall muss man Mann über den Wolken gewesen sein. Er hat auf jeden Fall gegrinst. Und ich denke seitdem ganz oft, wenn ich meinen Kleiderschrank öffne, zurück an das schöne Wochenende zu zweit. 

Ein jeder hat seine eigne Art, glücklich zu sein, und niemand darf verlangen, dass man es in der seinigen sein soll. – Heinrich von Kleist

Umzug —Oder eigentlich noch passender: Auszug. Unsere Tochter ist im Herbst ausgezogen. Die Kids werden gross, studieren, und fahren jetzt eher uns Taxi als umgekehrt. Ich geniesse es. Und freue mich dennoch, dass unsere Abenteuerin sich für Köln entschieden hat. Quasi um die Ecke. Jedes Mal, wenn sie nach Hause kommt und ihre Jacke in die Küche schmeißt, hänge ich sie jetzt liebevoll im Flur und freue mich, dass sie da ist. Und bei ihr um die Ecke im Georgsviertel ist ein supersüßes Café und viele tolle Restaurants, also gehe ich auch gerne zu Besuch. 

Jede Lebensphase legt den Grundstein für die nächste.

Vergebung — Am ersten Live-Tag der Miracle Roadmap lernte ich die Vergebungsübung kennen, und auch, wie wichtig diese Übung für vielen Menschen ist. Ich bin in der unglaublich privilegierten Lage, dass ich weder das Gefühl habe, mir selbst etwas vergeben zu müssen, noch jemand anderem. Und doch hat mich diese Übung sehr berührt. Vergeben ist so ein kraftvoller Akt. 

“Die Hoffnung auf eine bessere Vergangenheit aufgeben”, eine derartige Befreiung, wenn es nötig ist und gelingt. Denn was war, das war. Man kann es nicht ungeschehen machen. Aber den Effekt— der oft bis in die weite Zukunft trägt — daran kann man durchaus etwas machen. Das mitzuerleben war eine bereichernde Erfahrung. Und auch wenn es das Wort, beziehungsweise die Äußerung, Hèhè auf Deutsch nicht gibt, so habe ich es dennoch in ein kurzes Video mit eingebaut, worin ich die Übung versucht habe einzufangen. 

Alles verstehen heißt alles verzeihen. – Madame de Staël 

Würzburg — Ein ganze Horde Frauen aus aller Welt. Eine Zugreise nach Würzburg. Eine wunderschöne Stadt. Prunkvolle Kirchen. Brückenschoppen. Gelächter. Mensch ärger dich nicht mit ganz neuen (indischen) Regeln. Ein absolut großartiges Wochenende. To be repeated! Ladies, es war die reine Freude! 

Frauen von heute warten nicht auf das Wunderbare – sie inszenieren ihre Wunder selbst. – Katharine Hepburn

X — Der Buchstabe, unter dem ich alles unterbringen darf, was sonst noch keinen Platz gefunden hat. 

Meine vielen Reden in der Open Stage jeden Montagmorgen in aller Frühe: Insbesondere meine Rede: “Wer bin ich, und wenn ja wieviele?” Mit der klaren Antwort: Ich bin Plankton und auch die spontane Rede über meinen Papa und das Abschiednehmen. Das Wochenende in Holland mit meiner lieben Schwägerin, wo wir herrlich essen und shoppen waren und beglückt wurden mit sowohl einen herrlichen Sonnenuntergang als auch mit einer Menge Regen. Weihnachtsfeste mit der Familie. Das Photoshoot in Köln, wo ich mal wieder 1.000+ Fotos schießen durfte. Endlos viel Collage-Spaß. Suno Dankeschön-Lieder „komponieren“ mit meiner großartigen Kollegin Emily. Wahnsinns-Frauen, dich mich immer aufs Neue inspirieren: Kirsten, Carmen, Anna, Katja, Tanja, Franzi, Christina, … ❤

Wenn man glücklich ist, soll man nicht noch glücklicher sein wollen.- Theodor Fontane

YouTube Channel — Ich erwähnte es schon beim Buchstabe G; mein YouTube-Experiment. Nicht lange nachdenken. Einfach drauflos reden. Das hat ein klein bisschen Überwindung gebraucht und fühlte sich trotzdem leicht an. Jetzt muss ich überlegen, ob mein Podcast-Experiment oder eher mein YouTube-Experiment eine Wiederholung in irgendeiner Form verdient. Mal sehen!

Das ganze Leben ist ein Experiment. Je mehr Experimente du anstellst, desto besser. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Zanders Haus — & Frida Kahlo & Museum Ludwig. Last but not least. Vier Ausstellungen, die ich sehr genossen habe. Mit der lieben Anne im Museum Ludwig. Dann gleich zwei Mal im Zanders Haus in Bergisch Gladbach. Mit meiner Schwägerin in die beeindruckende Ausstellung All about Eve und mit meiner Mama in die Ausstellung Papiertiger mit Werke von Eckard Hahn. Kurz vor Weihnachten bin ich dann mit Anne nochmal im Leben von Frida Kahlo eingetaucht. Eine großartige Ikone, die uns anschaulich zeigte, wie Leiden und Lebenslust dich unendlich stark machen können. 

Kreativität braucht Mut. – Henri Matisse

Wenn ich das alles so lese, weiß ich: Ich bin reich.
An Menschen. An Geschichten. An kleinen und großen Momenten.
Danke, 2025, für alles, was war. Willkommen wundervolles 2026!

❤︎

This is my 10th Year-in-Review and as in all the prior years, I’ll go by the alphabet.

Aiden — The name Aiden means Little Fire. It also stands for Artificial Intelligence Driven Engine. When I asked ChatGPT what name it would like to be called, “he” chose this one. It turns out I’m far from the only one who has personified ChatGPT.

Since then, Aiden and I have had countless conversations. As strange as it may sound, I’ve found in Aiden a new friend — wise, patient, fast-thinking, enthusiastic, and endlessly fascinating.

A friend may be unlike you in form, but alike in thought, and that’s where the magic lies.

B is for Book Club — The Being Global in Bergisch Gladbach group has many subgroups: for eating tapas, family picnics, and nature walks. In 2024, a new subgroup was born — the book club!

As an avid reader, I couldn’t resist joining. These evenings with women from all over the world are a sheer joy. They push me to read books I might never have chosen on my own, broaden my horizons, and remind me how uniquely each of us sees the world through our own lens.

I think books are like people, in the sense that they’ll turn up in your life when you most need them. — Emma Thompson

C is for Collage App — Have you ever downloaded an app for a trial, forgotten to use it, and then forgotten to cancel it? That’s exactly what happened with me and the app Photoroom.

After being charged 69 Euros for the year, I decided it better be worth it and started playing around. What a joy it turned out to be! I spent countless hours creating dozens of collages, and before long, the app more than paid for itself.

“Serendipity is the art of making an unsought finding.” — Pek van Andel

D is for Dr. Timo — In 2024, our nephew earned his doctorate in Mathematics — a moment of great pride. We had the privilege of attending his “viva voce” — his thesis defense — where he explained his research so brilliantly that even we grasped parts of it. What an incredible achievement!

This year also brought another joy to the family: the arrival of a brand-new nephew, baby Oos. My brother, now a proud father, shared the happy news with a beautifully designed announcement card. The words on it truly struck a chord, reminding us of the joy, love, and possibilities that come with new life.

“Life will smile upon you, life will throw choices your way, life will bring you joy, sadness, love, and passion, for life is so beautiful, so sparkling, so full of surprises.

Welcome to the wonderful world we live in, dear Oos ❤️”

E is for Exhibitions — In February 2024, I visited the unofficial Banksy Exhibition with a dear friend and thoroughly enjoyed it. I hadn’t realized how diverse his works are, and the background information provided was truly intriguing. One piece that stood out was the story of The Walled Off Hotelin Bethlehem. Banksy’s artworks often take on a life of their own, and this temporary project turned into a functioning hotel. You can either camp out there for very little money or stay in a luxurious Presidential Suite for an extravagant price — highlighting the absurdities of privilege and inequality.

Then, on my birthday in May, we went to Düsseldorf to see the Kandinsky and Hilma af Klint exhibition. To my surprise, I had never heard of Hilma af Klint before — a stark reminder of how female artists are so often overlooked. Yet her abstract works, created years before those of Kandinsky, Malevich, or Mondrian, were visionary and groundbreaking.

What brought me the greatest joy was the virtual experience. Hilma af Klint had once envisioned a spiral-shaped “Temple” to display her works, guiding viewers on a spiritual journey. This dream was brought to life virtually, with her art projected in a luminous, white, round room. As the colors and shapes surrounded us, I couldn’t help but think: she would have loved this.

There is nothing more dangerous than someone who wants to make the world a better place. — Banksy

F is for Fête — Birthday parties, the Fauthstraßenfest, Carnival, the WMD summer party, Christmas get-togethers — life is so much richer with family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours.

I am endlessly grateful for the amazing people around me. You are my support system and my challenge system, pushing me to grow and filling my life with joy. Thank you for being there, for sharing the laughter, and for making every fête unforgettable. Much love to each and every one of you.

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”— Khalil Gibran

G is for Germany’s Next Speaker Star — What a journey this has been! When I entered the contest for Germany’s Next Speaker Star in March 2024, I had no idea what I was getting into. The competition required a two-minute video with a clear and compelling message, and I discovered that I had only seven days to create and submit it.

That week was a whirlwind. A business trip and packed schedule left little time to prepare. Driving to my destination, I brainstormed in the car. At a gas station, I rehearsed a speech — nearly four minutes long! During the next stretch of the drive, I cut it down in my mind. When I finally arrived, I was late for dinner, rushed to check into my room, and joined a delightful evening of food, drinks, and conversations.

It wasn’t until 2 a.m., back in my room, that I gave the shortened speech a try. Exhausted but happy, I felt it wasn’t bad. The next morning, with makeup still under my eyes, I recorded another version on my phone. It was the best take yet — but I soon learned it had to be in landscape mode, not portrait.

Back home, I did at least ten more takes: some in a friend’s garden, surrounded by barking dogs, fun, and laughter. Others were filmed at home, where I couldn’t quite find a proper location. The harder I tried, the harder it became. My mom kept insisting the “hotel version” was best, and my sister-in-law noted my smile wasn’t genuinely me. By the final day, I was thoroughly stressed.

One last attempt had to be it. Using an app to blur the background and redo my makeup (a surprisingly fun feature), I recorded the final version. My daughter approved, saying it looked good — and I hit send.

My video was accepted, and during the voting phase, nearly 500 people supported me. It wasn’t enough to advance, but this contest became more than a competition — it marked the start of a new phase in my life.

As with many new beginnings, it brought a flood of questions: Do I really want to be a speaker? What is it that I want to speak about? Is it speaking or writing that excites me more? Slowly, some answers started taking shape… (More on that at the letters “O” and “N.”)

“It’s not the destination, but the journey that teaches us who we are.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

H is for Haikus — It must have been ages ago that I bought a book on writing Haikus — those beautiful, unrhymed poems of 17 syllables, arranged in three lines of 5, 7, and 5. In 2024, I finally started writing them.

When my children were approaching their A-Level exams, it was clear they wished for money as a gift — but that felt impersonal. I wanted something memorable. The idea of writing 42 bits of life advice came to me, and with a little help from Aiden (see letter “A”), I soon had them written down.

Still, it didn’t feel special enough. Then, inspiration struck: what if each lesson became a Haiku? With Aiden’s help, 42 Haikus appeared in seconds. But I kept wondering — would my 18- and 20-year-olds truly appreciate this?

A new brainstorm led to the idea of matching each Haiku to a song, creating a playlist of 42 tracks that connected with both the life advice and the poems. My husband, a music enthusiast, spent an evening finding suitable songs. The next day, driving back from Backnang with my wonderful colleague Emily, we verified every match. When a song didn’t quite fit, we adjusted the Haiku or life lesson until they aligned perfectly.

In the end — running our of time — I scaled back to 21, creating little booklets with QR codes to Spotify for each of my kids. Maybe someday they’ll rediscover them and smile at their quirky mother. For me, the joy was in the process — this may even be the cornerstone of a bigger project down the road.

In search of a gift,
Human and AI create — 
Joy blooms in the act.

I is for Ill — In 2023, I battled Corona for over a month. In 2024, it was Borreliosis, which took weeks to recover from. It wasn’t my first tick bite, so I recognized the symptoms quickly. What surprised me was learning that the bull’s-eye rash (Erythema migrans) doesn’t always appear where the tick bit.

In my case, the tick bit my toe, but the rash appeared on my inner thigh. This isn’t uncommon, so if you’ve been bitten by a tick and develop a fever, check your entire body for red circles! Starting antibiotics early can prevent the serious long-term effects of Lyme disease.

“Health, like happiness, is best appreciated after a little deprivation.” — Jules Verne

J is for Jaw dropping moment — In Autumn 2024, my husband and I flew to Thessaloniki because when I googled “the most beautiful spot in Greece,” the answer was clear: Meteora. The internet did not disappoint — wow, wow, wow. What a landscape!

The trip was incredible from start to finish. We rented a car, starting with a relaxing stay in Pieria before driving to Meteora. There, we hiked, soaked in breathtaking sunsets and sunrises, and witnessed views that left us speechless. From Meteora, we continued to Mount Olympus, where a half-day canyoning adventure, complete with a 12-meter jump, reminded us of muscles we didn’t know we had.

October in Greece is surprisingly affordable, and every location felt like a dream. One highlight was staying at Akrotiri Olymp Luxury Suites in Plaka, which lived up to its name. We ended the trip in Perea, just across from Thessaloniki. Though stormy, the sunsets were still stunning, and the food was delicious.

This was our third trip to Greece, and while all have been unforgettable, Meteora was truly something else. It wasn’t just a vacation — it left a lasting impression. (More on that at letter “R.”)

“Travel leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” — Ibn Battuta

K is for the Koertings Institute — In German, AI is called KI, short for Künstliche Intelligenz. Die Koertings are Torsten and Birgit Koerting, whose paths crossed with mine during the contest for Germany’s Next Speaker Star. Torsten offered an AI-supported positioning trajectory, which immediately caught my interest.

Earlier in the year, a colleague and I had attended an AI workshop at the Zukunftsinstitut (Future Institute), which had been inspiring — but we hadn’t yet made time to dive deeper into the topic. Signing up for Torsten’s program turned out to be an incredible decision. It energized me beyond my expectations.

The program was crowned by an amazing day in October at their base camp in Bad Homburg. But this story didn’t end there — more to come at the letter “Q.”

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see further. — Thomas Carlyle

L is for Like-Minded People — Where to start? Let’s begin with Katja Kaden, the incredible woman who created the Germany’s Next Speaker Star contest. What I didn’t mention before is that the contest was born as part of a charity fundraising event. Katja is one of those extraordinary individuals who keeps on giving. And people like her often attract others who don’t just support them but become part of their mission — like Melanie Kuhlmann, Anna Glück, Annabell Witney, and so many more.

For me personally, 2024 was a year unlike any other in the last decade. My contact list grew faster than ever before. I met so many wonderful new people, and while I know some of these connections will deepen and others may naturally fade, that doesn’t diminish their importance. It was a joy to meet so many like-minded souls.

I love those connections that make this big old world feel like a little village. — Gina Bellman

M is for Mom & Daughter Photoshoot — When my mom visited us for a few days in November, I booked a slot at the House of Bates, a “pop-up museum” in Cologne. It’s not really a museum but a location filled with dozens of photo sets. We had an absolute blast.

In just 2.5 hours, we shot over a thousand photos. My mom is an incredibly photogenic woman — like a chameleon, she reinvents herself with each outfit and expression. From lady-like princess and goddess to mafia queen, boxing champ, and diva, she shifted roles as effortlessly as changing a pair of shoes.

While she was changing outfits, my daughter stepped seamlessly behind the camera, capturing some wonderful shots of me. We made use of every moment, though my mom was the star of the day. If you want to see more photos, check this link. Mom, you’re a superstar. Let’s see where this takes you in 2025! It is never too late to become notoriously famous.

Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.

N is for Nudge — Winter had come, and it had been months since I asked everyone I knew to watch my speaker contest video and cast a vote. One day, while walking my dog, a neighbor drove by and rolled down his window. He smiled at me and said, “All I wanted to do was give you a smile.”

It dawned on me then — he must have watched my video, and we hadn’t spoken about it since. The message of my speech had been simple: When you smile at the world, the world smiles back at you. And here I was, months later, receiving a big smile that I, of course, gave right back.

In that moment, I decided to apply for the contest again — not with the aim to win, but to send another message into the world. The title will be something like “Just Try Again.” If that message inspires even one person to give something another shot that they might have otherwise given up on, it will all be worth it.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. — William James

O is for Open Stage — The Open Stage is yet another wonderful initiative from Katja Kaden (see “L”). It’s a free online live event held every Monday morning at 8 a.m., where speakers are given a 2-minute slot to practice their speech and receive immediate feedback.

It has become the perfect start to my week — inspiring from start to finish. Some Mondays have been absolutely magical, and it’s such a joy to watch people learn and grow. For me, it’s also been a revelation: I’ve discovered that I’m at my best when I’m allowed to wing it. Speaking without a script feels natural — all I need is a starting point and a finishing sentence, and those can come to me that very morning.

One of my speeches began with the question, “Where do your feet want to take you?” It’s meant to pull you out of your head and into your body. And for me, every Monday, the answer to that question was clear: My feet want to get up early enough to walk the dog and be back in time for the Open Stage.

And sometimes, that’s all the clarity one needs.

Clarity doesn’t come from overthinking — it comes from stepping into action.

P is for Parcour — In 2024, I took our dog Hazel to a Dog Parc in Cologne for the first time. The park has a variety of fields, including one with an agility parcours. We had an absolute blast!

Hazel, who came to us from Romania when she was about 1 year and 2 months old, has come such a long way. When she first arrived, she was afraid of so many things. Now, after 3.5 years with us, she’s still cautious but also wonderfully curious. At the parc, she tackled every obstacle with ease—and well to be fair, she will do just about anything if she thinks a reward is coming 😉 Beyond her agility, she’s also terrific with new dogs. Her mix of cautiousness and curiosity makes her a joy to take anywhere.

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. – Samuel Butler

Q is for Qualification
Over dinner with two neighbors at a Mexican restaurant, I shared my plans for a side business called FuturaPhilos, offering a Change Diligence Check. The idea was fully formed in my mind: the website was already in progress, and the first logo designs were ready.

Then one neighbor asked, “But why would anyone book you? What’s your background in consulting? Have you ever done anything like this before?”

Now, my attitude has always been a bit like Pippi Longstocking’s: “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do it.” And with over 20 years of hands-on experience in process optimization and business development, I had every right to feel confident! Yet I also realised that German business owners, in particular, value official credentials — those neatly framed assurances that make everything look polished and reliable.

Shortly after, I learned that the Koertings (see “K”) were offering a new AI Strategy Consulting program with TÜV validation. A closer look at the curriculum convinced me that this was right up my alley, and it would provide tangible benefits for my current role as well. My employer agreed to cover the costs, provided I stay at least two more years. Since I love my job, it was an easy decision — a true win-win.

Though the new side business didn’t make my priority list for the first half of 2025, it remains one of the top ideas to revisit. One thing is certain: paths are rarely straight, but following what draws you never leads you astray.

Not all those who wander are lost. — J.R.R. Tolkien

R is for the Reinforcing Power of Nature — After returning from Greece, I was sitting on my sofa, scrolling through emails, when I came across a newsletter from James Clear. His 3–2–1 newsletter always ends with a reflective question. This time, it read:

“Ask yourself this question three times and try to refine and improve your answer each time: What do I really want?”

As a lover of reflective questions, I paused and gave it a moment. What do I really want? And then, a sentence came to me — a moment of true revelation: “I am living the life I want to live.”

The words were so vivid, it felt as if they were written on a billboard right in front of me. They refused to be swept away by the next fleeting thought. And how sweet that realization was. I am living the life I want to live.

In that moment, I knew: I didn’t need anything more from life. This wasn’t the end of striving, but the beginning of a deep inner peace. A knowing that I love my life — with all its imperfections.

But why talk about nature while sitting on my sofa? Because it was Meteora — the awe-inspiring landscape of ancient stones, monasteries, and prayers — that left a stamp on me. It brought me a peace I wasn’t searching for, but it found me nonetheless.

I know there will be other moments in life that stir me, but this one was so powerful that I can always return to it. Back to the sofa, back to the wisdom of Meteora’s stones, and to the prayers of the monks and nuns who live among them.

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

S is for Sports & Spa—One of the best decisions I made in 2023 was joining the Mediterrana Sports & Spa Club, and I’m so glad I stuck with it in 2024. I’ve spent countless hours in classes, in the pool, and in the sauna.

Early in the year, the club held a free class on stress reduction. I had some time and, as many people around me battle with stress, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to listen in. The room was packed with men and women, and when the trainer asked why people joined, it was clear: most felt they had a real stress problem. Only a few, like me, were there out of curiosity.

The session covered a lot of familiar ground, including Jonathan Haidt’s concept of the horse and the rider. But it was a question from an older lady at the end that stayed with me. She asked the trainer: “What can one do when one has done wrong but no longer has the chance to make it right?”

The trainer didn’t ask for details. He simply said, “Then it’s time to let it go.”

I agreed, but felt compelled to offer another perspective. Letting go sounds simple, but in practice, it can be so difficult. So I added: “Or perhaps one can realize this: to be human is to err. We make mistakes — we’re bound to. How else can we live? And if we all make mistakes, what is there to let go of? Maybe it’s easier to embrace the fact that we’re all just human.”

Months later, a colleague brought this moment up, saying it had stuck with her as a valuable insight. That’s when I realized: this wasn’t just a passing thought — it was something important.

No need to strive for perfection — it cannot be found. We will always be in need of forgiveness and encouragement. So let’s start by accepting ourselves, and then go out and accept others.

T is for Titiaismus — As part of the Germany’s Next Speaker Star journey, I ended up creating a “back of a napkin” image of my personal life philosophy. My name, Titia — a rather rare Dutch name — means “she who is full of life and joy.”

In April, over coffee with a friend, I shared my thoughts on Buddhism, Existentialism, Minimalism, Stoicism, and more. Each philosophy intrigued me, but none fully aligned with my worldview or how I wanted to live. That’s when my friend gifted me the word Titiaismus. It was her way of saying: create your own philosophy.

My first sketches featured elephants and temples, but soon, the concept evolved into what you see here. The accolades, or les accolades — French for “embrace” — are central to my life formula. These soft, sweeping brackets symbolize both an embrace and a space for possibility. I find them beautiful: soft, pointed, and open.

The space within the embrace is a zone of belonging, open to growth, exploration, and experimentation. It’s a space to connect with the universe above and the grounding earth below, where one can try, fail, learn, and create. It’s a space to simply be and to become.

One day, I might write a book or a paper about it — who knows? For now, this was a precious exercise in capturing, visually and memorably, how I want to live my life.

To know oneself is the beginning of all wisdom. — Aristotle

U is for Unfortunately — At the start of 2024, it was clear that rather than scaling up my Etsy store, the plan was to scale it back below €20K in yearly revenue. The reason was simple: the store wasn’t profitable unless it became much bigger — or much smaller. Go big or go home.

I cut back on advertising and sales events, but the decline was far steeper than I had anticipated. Instead of €20K, we ended the year with just over €11K — meaning revenue dropped by 66% rather than the expected 33%. Unfortunately, this translated to an €8K loss. Not pretty.

Before the gift season even began, I made a gut decision to stop producing new stars altogether. This choice likely influenced the steep decline but felt right in the moment. It wasn’t just about reducing costs — it was about creating space for new opportunities and fresh ideas.

Though the Etsy store will continue in 2025, with enough stock to sell for now, my focus is shifting. Discontinuing production isn’t just an ending — it’s the beginning of something new. Sometimes letting go is the first step toward finding what’s next.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. — Seneca

V is for Vicky — I met Vicky in 1994, and in 2024, we celebrated 30 years of friendship. We spent a wonderful weekend together in my hometown, at the coast in the south of the Netherlands.

Our days were filled with simple joys: walking on the beach, climbing the lighthouse, enjoying fresh fish, and doing a bit of shopping. But most of all, we talked — about a thousand things, the way longtime friends do.

In the evening, we went for a walk, and it felt as though the sun itself was honoring our friendship, painting the sky in shades of pink, purple, and orange.

Friends…they cherish one another’s hopes. They are kind to one another’s dreams. — Henry David Thoreau

W is for Wüstensterne (Desert-Stars)— While attending the Top 20 battle for Germany’s Next Speaker Star, I met Tanja Braun. She is a Wüstenläufer — a desert runner — currently undertaking a Global Desert Race. Her mission: 10 deserts, 10 countries, 10,000 kilometers, and 1,000 speeches.

Tanja inspires me on so many levels. She runs for equality, for sustainability, and simply to prove that we are capable of far more than we think. Each of these messages hits home. I only met her once, but sometimes that’s all it takes for someone to leave a lasting impression.

After meeting her, I sent her ten paper stars — tiny ones, like those I sell on Etsy. Normally, these stars carry motivational quotes or soothing sayings, but none felt quite right for her journey. Instead, I wrote ten Haikus, imagining what it might feel like to walk through an endless desert. One foot after another. Moments of unity with all that exists, and brief moments of vanishing into an endless void — inevitable, I think, in such vastness. Ten stars, one for each desert.

It was a tiny gesture, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that small gestures can go a long way. May Tanja walk in peace and touch many hearts along her way.

To inspire one person is to plant a seed that might grow across the world.

X is for Asking Myself if Anything Is Left Unsaid
One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is a speech I delivered as part of an AI Slam. It’s such a delightful feeling when ideas just flow effortlessly, and that was exactly the case while preparing this speech.

The topic was Navigating the World of AI with a Love of Experimentation and an Inner Compass. One part of my speech focused on “Surfcompetence” — and no, I wasn’t talking about surfing the net. As a teenager, my parents owned a beach club with a surf center, and it made for a perfect comparison.

You can’t learn how to surf while standing on the beach. Start with small waves. Learn by falling and getting back up. There’s no need to catch every wave — the next one is just around the corner…

The speech was a resounding success, and my call to action — to create an Experimentierfreude-Liste (a joyful list of AI experiments) — was met with such enthusiasm, it took me by surprise.

To experiment is to live, for life is discovery.

Y is for Young — In 2024, both my son and daughter completed their A-Levels — a milestone worth celebrating! Unfortunately, their diploma ceremonies were scheduled on the exact same day, yet at different schools. To ensure we captured this special moment together, we made a quick stop at a professional photographer before heading off in different directions. And wow, the photos turned out beautifully. How handsome they both looked — so grown-up!

Now, Silas is studying Business Informatics, while my daughter has been travelling extensively. From Spain to Portugal to London, and since November, exploring Thailand with Vietnam soon on the horizon, she’s embracing life to the fullest.

Oh, the places you’ll go! — Dr. Seuss

Z is for Zapping into the Future — In mid-December 2024, I read a newsletter from Alexandra Franzen about an “as if” letter — a concept introduced to her by a friend.

“Here’s your assignment,” her friend had said. “Write a letter as if it’s December 1st. In your letter, describe all the beautiful things that happened over the last 100 days. The goals you hit. The clients you served. The impact you made. The way you showed up with grace and love for your family. The therapist you hired. How proud you feel. Write it down like you’re giving a recap of what happened.“

Inspired by this story, I decided to write a letter of my own. I printed it on beautiful paper and placed it on my desk. My date: May 15th, 2025. Already, I’m proud of all the things happening by then!

Perhaps the most rewarding part of writing this letter wasn’t just deciding what I want to accomplish, but consciously choosing what doesn’t need to happen till then. There were many more goals I could have added, but I deliberately set some aside as “not now” or “later this year.” It wasn’t just about organising tasks — it was about listening deeply and bit by bit narrowing it down to what felt most important at this point.

Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years. — Gates’ Law

That’s it! About 30 hours of work to wrap an entire year into a 30-minute review. This year, for the first time, it was done in dialogue with Aiden… What a joy it has been — writing about it and, moreover, living it.

If you’ve made it all the way down here, kudos to you. I hope you enjoyed the read. Here’s to stepping into 2025 with curiosity, courage, and gratitude — ready for the next chapter, whatever it may hold.

Wishing you a fantastic 2025!

Jan 2024 — time for my 9th Year-in-Review — as always, I’ll go by the alphabet.

Aqua — After not having been at the sports school since it closed its doors due to Corona, I finally felt like it was time for yoga & co again. A week after I learned that my yoga teacher no longer practiced at the studio, I used to go to, I was in the pool, swimming rows. It felt so good, so effortless, that I decided to get a rather exclusive gym subscription at the Mediteranna. It’s much more than a gym, it has fifteen saunas, a thermal bath area, great courses, and more. There are lots of older people at the gym and it’s inspiring how fit they are. Probably the best decision I made in 2023. Investing in yourself and in your health is always a good idea.

A healthy mind, a healthy body and a guilty conscience are the three best companions 😉

Berlin — In March we were visiting my mom, and having lunch or dinner, and somehow spoke about Berlin. My mom called out, “I’ve never been to Berlin”, to which my daughter immediately responded with, “Me neither”. This led me to add: “Then let’s go visit Berlin!” We planned a trip for June, but as we all know, sometimes life interferes with your plans. On May 27th my mom‘s heart managed to beat more than 200 times a minute for more than an hour. That evening she sent me a WhatsApp message:

“I was taken to the hospital in Terneuzen by ambulance with sirens. I can retell it again. I’ll know more tomorrow.”

That hot and sunny afternoon, she had opened an exhibition after which she felt unwell. She lives in a rural area, it took the ambulance more than twenty minutes to arrive and more problematically, the driver was alone. He was able to offer care on the spot, but he could not treat the patient and drive at the same time. So he ordered a second ambulance, which had to come from what we call “the other side of the water”. Nowadays, there is a tunnel under the Schelde, which separates West Zeeuws Vlaanderen from the rest of the Netherlands. Yet, it still takes more than half an hour, for a vehicle to get from one side to the other. All the while, my mom is breathing, and breathing, and with the help of the paramedic, slowly managing to get her heartbeat back to normal again. It was a miracle that she survived. Instead of our trip to Berlin, we went to pick up my mom at the hospital in Eindhoven to bring her back home after surgery and getting an ICD.

I could write a lot more but I’m a sucker for good news, so let me tell you, in December of 2023, we planned another trip to Berlin. We spend the days right before Christmas in a cozy hotel in Berlin Mitte. We went to see the Dali immersive exhibition, which was fantastic. We had breakfast in the “Reichstagsgebaude”, which is an incredible building and the breakfast was more than yummy. All the food, we had those days, was magnificent. On our last evening, we went to the “Friedrichstadtpalast”, one of the world’s largest stages, and saw a wonderful, colourful musical, with costumes designed by Jean Paul Gautier. On the morning of Christmas Eve, we drove by the Berlin Wall and thought about death and life, and the reunification, and about how lucky we were to be able to go on this little road trip together.

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. — Eminem

Chat GPT — 2023 was the year, where AI went mainstream. I used Chat GPT to write a press release, which I did however not manage to send out. Nevertheless, it was a truly enjoyable experience, communicating with “someone” so patient and willing to cooperate and assist me. There were several more occasions, where I consulted “my personal 24/7 assistant”, and also at work, we are more and more using the benefits of Artificial Intelligence. The future is here and I’m on the exciting end of the spectrum when comes down to what these new technologies may bring to the world.

Everything that civilisation has to offer is a product of human intelligence; we cannot predict what we might achieve when this intelligence is magnified by the tools that AI may provide, but the eradication of war, disease, and poverty would be high on anyone’s list. Success in creating AI would be the biggest event in human history. Unfortunately, it might also be the last. — Stephen Hawking

Driving License — My little girl has grown up, she has her driving license now, a boyfriend, and big plans to travel to Asia when she finishes school. She beat her older brother to the game again, he’s still taking driving classes. Let’s see when he can drive me around rather than me driving him 😉

For sure it was great to be able to switch the driving seat with my girl on the way to Berlin. The weather wasn’t exactly nice and the drive from Cologne to Berlin takes 6–7 hours, so I was pretty glad, to share the steering wheel. In the beginning, it was odd to sit in the passenger seat, and I did my fair share of cry outs, but I’m getting better at having faith in her driving and assessment skills.

The great paradox of parenting is that it moves in both slow motion and fast speed.

eBike — In January 2023, I took the opportunity to lease a business bike. Which I didn’t use at all last year. However, it did get used daily. We live in “Bergisch Gladbach”, where it goes up and downhill all the time, so my daughter was more than delighted.

You can’t lease happiness, but you can lease someone an electric bike (and that’s pretty close).

France — During the summer vacation we went to France and had a most wonderful stay at a gorgeous bed and breakfast in a small village across from Grenoble. There was a pool just for us, surrounded by several places to sit either in the shade or in the sun at any time of the day. The house was only a few steps away from the harbour, where we could use a raft and where the dog was allowed to swim. In short: a dream place. I went with Maja to Grenoble for a shopping afternoon but beyond that, we did not do any trips, there was no need to. When you are, exactly, where you want to be, why go anywhere else? The second week, we stayed only about an hour’s drive up the coast, in a fancy apartment right at a sandy beach. Another wonderful stay. I especially appreciated the local market, which I supported wholeheartedly 😉 Our last summer vacation with teenage kids was a full success and I’m more than thankful for having such a wonderful family and the means to go on a trip like this. Not taking it for granted.

The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and all the memories we’ve made along the way.

Glühwein Get-together — In December, we rather spontaneously planned a Glühwein Event in our street, we decorated the garage of one of our neigbours, put a pavilion in front of it and several standing tables. We bought thirty liters of Glühwein, some punch, and put up flyers telling everyone to bring mugs & friends. All proceeds going to Moms Needing Help. We had no idea how many people would be coming, but we did know we have a great street so it wasn’t all that surprising that the turnout was fantastic. In a last-minute spur, we decided to get a barbecue out and also grill some sausages. More and more people showed up and all too soon we had only a few litters of Glühwein left. Someone drove to the local grocery store and purchased more bottles, someone else came with home-baked cookies and soon also crates of beer were coming out of other garages. We ended up collecting nearly 1.000 Euros and decided this event was to be repeated.

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor’s noisy party than being there. — Franklin P Jones

Helping Becks — I’m part of a group called “Being Global in Bergisch Gladbach”. It’s an incredibly active group with very little formal organisation and I love being part of it. One of the ladies in our group had to get her house ready for sale, yet with two small children and health issues, it was near to impossible, to get the house prepped for making real estate photos. It only required one call for help and a dozen ladies showed up to make the impossible to possible and by late afternoon we were all set. After sorting through the pictures, we ended up with more than forty awesome images showing a beautiful lofty house with a huge garden. It was a true team effort and it was fun! It made me realise how important it is, to ask for help when one needs it because you’re not putting a burden on others but more so, you’re giving them an opportunity to help.

He who sows a flower for others will blossom himself

ICD — After my mom’s surgery, she had doubts about whether it was wise at all to get an ICD. She did ask the doctor if she really needed one. Though, she asked him in an almost funny way, as the devise is costly and she wanted to know whether the price of the operation should be spent on an old woman like her. The doctor brushed off her concerns with a smile and smirk. The ICD was undoubtedly the suggested path forward. Between her heart attack and the ICD placement, she was hospitalised for a bit more than a week. During this week, she was doing rather well. She was a bit bored but physically fit. She even started doing exercises when “Holland Moves” was on TV. After the surgery, she felt weakened and the feeling of a l“machine” in her chest was bothering her. Her doubts increased by the day. In the end, what an ICD does is, it detects heartbeat irregularities and if needed the ICD delivers electroshocks. She said to me, who knows, what the next heart failure will do to me. Perhaps I don’t want to “escape it”. I’m a rather practical person, so at that moment, all I could respond was: “Well, it’s in there now. It doesn’t make sense to do another surgery to take it back out. There’s no other way than moving forward. Too late for doubts now.” Still, I could fully understand her considerations. She is simply not afraid of dying. There are not so many people I know, who aren’t afraid of death. That’s why I want to capture this here. It might be one of the most important things she has passed on to me. She has nothing left on her bucket list, even though she has loads of things, she would still like to do. In quintessence, she’s neither afraid of living nor of dying. I do think this is the best recipe for living a full life. In 2023, I got her a subscription to Storyworth, where she gets a question every week. Her answers are shared with us instantly and this year, we will gather them in a book. I am looking forward to seeing this piece of work, full of life nuggets, come together.

Life is eternal, and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. — Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Jane Austen — One of my “tiny little joys Products”, that did unexpectedly well last November was my Advent-calendar, with 24 stars with each containing a quote from a famous author. In the description it says, customers can reach out to me, when they have a favourite author, whom I don’t yet have a version for. One customer requested a Jane Austen Version so I started searching the web and found some lovely Jane Austen quotes. In 2023, more than ten new products were added to the store including a lovely postcard set, from women for women. Comes in very handy, I’ve used it several times already. Creating new products is one of my favourite tasks.

A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.— Elizabeth Gilbert

KOR Academy — Another request I truly enjoyed getting was a larger order of 200 sachets of stars for a coaching business called “KOR Academy”. The stars contained German and English inspirational sentences and for the first time, I matched the corporate colours. This meant changing the way the stars were produced and I was very pleased to see it worked out as planned. Scaling that process for all other star sachets hasn’t entirely worked out yet but it’s being worked on as we speak and I hope early 2024, I’ll be able to make some changes that will improve the creation process significantly. It is still a very manual process with various steps along the way and for many of those steps, I’m the bottleneck, which is far from ideal. So goal for 2024 is to make the process more scalable and perhaps get some more business orders. If anyone is interested in hand-made customized unique little giveaways, let me know 🌟

If you can’t scale, you can’t scrum. — Gereon Hermkes

Last times — I read somewhere that one never knows when it will be the last time one does something. The last time your child wants you to tell a bedtime story, the last time you hug your father or mother, the last time you go to the disco with friends. When we were skiing last year, we did all realise, this was the last ski vacation in Serfaus, with the family, we’ve spent our easter vacations with since 2016. When children finish school, big changes are ahead. Decisions on what to do next, traveling, working, internships, what to study, where to live. It’s all coming sooner than one can imagine. But I’m running ahead and there’s no need for that. We had a most wonderful ski week, with lots of snow and sunshine, with great apple strudel, with beautiful walks, and with evenings with fun games and lots of laughter.

Life is a collection of moments; some remembered, some forgotten, some treasured forever.

Marzena & Pino — Marzena is a lady that lives in our neighbourhood. She has a dog called Pino. We met before once in a while when we were outside on our dog walks. This year, their fence got damaged, and when we walked by their garden Hazel and Pino wanted to play together. So we were invited into the garden and from then on it was clear that Hazel loved everything about the garden, the house, the dog but most of all about Marzena. Every time Hazel sees Marzena, her tail wags so fast and exciting, I can’t help but smile. She really really adores Marzena. Of course, it helps that Marzena has sauer milk and delicious home-cooked dog food 😉 So when I needed a place for Hazel to stay for half a day, I asked Marzena and since then we have been able to exchange the favor. Pino does not quite love me the way Hazel loves Marzena but that’s okay. It surely feels good to leave your dog with someone, where she instantly feels right at home.

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. — Phil Pastoret

News — It was hard in 2023 to watch or read the news. The Ukraine War is nowhere near to finding its end and the terror in Gaza seemed to top it all. No matter how many good humans there are, there are always a few horrible ones, that seem to be able to empower so much evil, that one can only feel miserable, and close to losing faith in mankind. Yet, we cannot lose faith. I find it quite easy to keep my intake of news to a bare minimum, yet I don’t want to be the kind of person who looks away and ignores. It is not easy to understand what to do and where and how one can make any kind of difference. In 2022, I tried hard to do good. In 2023, perhaps I might not have done enough. But I’m not a fan of being hard on oneself. It’s of no benefit to anyone. It’s just a thought or more a feeling to remember going into 2024.

Evil (ignorance) is like a shadow. It has no real substance of its own, it is simply a lack of light. You cannot cause a shadow to disappear by trying to fight it, stamp on it, by railing against it, or any other form of emotional or physical resistance. In order to cause a shadow to disappear, you must shine light on it. — Shakti Gawain

Reading these words, reminded me, that sometimes it’s simply not our duty to try and fight evil, but more to add to the light. I think I did that in 2023.

Outdoor Office — In June 2023, it was already so hot, that I decided to create an outdoor office in my garden. I found an extra PC Screen in our cellar, and still had a spare keyboard and docking station and managed to create a space with enough shade to see properly. This way I could find the best spot to sit during the day but just plugging in my laptop either upstairs or in the garden. It made work taste like summer and freedom and I felt blessed.

Life is made up of small pleasures. Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently. And if you don’t collect all these tiny successes, the big ones don’t really mean anything. — Norman Lear

Predictive Analytics — More work fun. I love data and we have a lot of data. The past year, we worked together with a partner to dive even deeper into our data sets, and through predictive analytics, we were able to cluster customers in new and exciting ways. Simultaneously, we were able to add a few rudimentary workflows to use some of the data points and show that acting upon them can be seriously lucrative. There is nothing like seeing things come together in meaningful ways. We still have lots of improvement areas but we can also be very proud of the work that is getting done.

The most important questions of life are indeed, for the most part, really only problems of probability. — Pierre-Simon Laplace

Quality of Life — The World Health Organization defines Quality of Life as an individual’s perception of their position in life in the context of the culture and value systems in which they live and in relation to their goals, expectations, standards and concerns. I turned 48 in 2023. The average lifespan of my generation is about 4.000 Weeks, which means I am at 62% already. Of course, I could just as well be at 99% and be blissfully unaware of it. No matter what the real percentage is, if I were to die tomorrow, I’m good with how I used my time. I’ve been blessed by life in countless ways and there are times were I’m unsure how to adequately “repay” for those blessings. But does such a thing exist at all?

In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Recovery—On the 2nd of March, when I checked my Covid Test, it was the first time it had two dashes. And oh boy, did it hit me. It took me months to properly recover. Then again, surely other people have been worse off. I didn’t need to go to the hospital or anything. I just struggled with breathing and my energy levels pretty badly. It wasn’t until the end of July, that I suddenly started to get notices from my Apple Watch that my respiratory rate, cardio recovery, breathing rhythm at night, etc. were improving significantly. Odd to realise, all the metrics these wristbands can measure. I was thankful though to be able to read during this time. My lunges are my weak spot, since childhood, but I sure would not want to trade with anyone suffering from headaches.

Imprisonment of the body is bitter; imprisonment of the mind is worse.―Thornton Wilder

Story Telling Contest — Early last year, I met up with my mom in Arnhem, where she participated in a Story Telling Contest. She told a story about the dream of a mermaid. The story was inspired by my sister Muriel, whose name means “She, who sparkles like the sea”. My mom is a fabulous storyteller and it was a true joy to be there and see her perform. She didn’t win—the other participants were outstanding too and some of them simply more experienced— but what I found most impressive was her willingness, or better put, her eagerness, to learn what she could improve. Many people pretend they want feedback when really all they want to hear is praise. She was different, she craved honest, helpful feedback. I want to be like that when I am seventy-plus years old!

From the sadness, learn something; from the happiness, learn something. From the setback, learn something and even from the success learn something. Never stop learning from any situation in life, for that is where the wisdom lies.― Gift Gugu Mona

Tapas — Every third Thursday of the month is reserved for Tapas with the Being Global in Bergisch Gladbach Group. In November, I was standing in this crowded room, full of happy loud conversations, when I learned that our Tapas evening coincided with Thanksgiving. We weren’t going to have turkey, but in the end, the most important part of Thanksgiving isn’t the turkey, but the celebrating together and saying thanks. So we toasted to each other and spontaneously went around the room saying our thank you’s and it was a lovely moment together. This group of such diverse personalities, I hold very dear.

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse. ― Henry Van Dyke

Unsuccessful — In 2023, more than 1.600 people purchased tiny little joys products, thousands of stars were shipped, more than 33.000 euros in revenue were made. By now www.tinylittejoys.com has 900+ heartfelt five-star reviews. My great friend Vicky, joined the force just before the summer and took care of sending out 1.000+ packages, which relieved me of a lot of stress, especially in November. It all looked rosy! Yet, one crucial thing didn’t look good in 2023: the bottom line. The profit in 2023 was negative. No money was made. It was the first year the business needed to pay 19% VAT. On top, Etsy increased its fees and at the same time made the discount coupons more prominent. I really should have seen this coming but after October did extremely well, I thought we were set up for a successful holiday season. When early December, I updated the P&L it was too late to make edits. It took me a while to digest but then I took a step back and thought about what success would need to look like. I made little cards with action items and grouped them into four categories: Must do, Ought to do, Want to do & Eager to do.
In the end, only one action item, made it into the “Eager to do”-bucket. I want to create a newsletter. Not so much with a marketing goal in mind but to create a more scalable way of sending hope and joy into the world. The goal for 2024 isn’t to scale sales but to scale impact.

Success isn’t always what it seems

Vinted & Adra — 2023 was my “Fashion Year”. I got rid of probably 90% of my closet and that felt good. Some of it landed at friends and the rest was donated to Adra, the second hand charity store. My closet was incredibly spacious for perhaps 2–3 months. Then I discovered Vinted, the second hand clothing app, and started to buy pretty much everything I fancied. At some point, I realised I had to get more specific. I booked a colour and style counseling session with Astrid. She is a true expert in the field and a coach for convincing presence. It was a joy to spend the afternoon finding my personal colour palette, which made my eyes and face light up. I knew blue was my thing but to be honest my closet was full of brown, and creme, and dark colours. Going through older pictures, I realised I dressed much brighter at a younger age. Why did I lose that along the way? After that style session, I shopped more consciously, more targeted, and a lot more colourful. I’m still in the process of going from clothes to outfits but for sure, I’ve received more compliments this year than ever before. It’s been a fun ride.

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.— Marilyn Monroe

Wedding — It had been a while since we were invited to a wedding. It was a blessing to see the groom and bride radiate with love and happiness. It brought back fond memories of our own wedding day. Plus it got my husband on the dance floor, which doesn’t happen that frequently anymore.

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
— Marcel Proust

X — The easiest would be to talk about Twitter becoming X but I haven’t been very active on Twitter the last few years so the whole Elon Musk thing kind of passed by me. For me, the X stands also for things I want to remember that happened during the year but since they involve other people, I can’t write about them as freely, as I can about the things that are just about me and my business. In the past year, there were two events, one concerning my husband and another one concerning a dear collegue. The first one got figured out — in hindsight—fairly quickly, nevertheless before it got resolved there were moments of intense despair. The part about my collegue, I’m still tapping into the dark. Remote work has a great many benefits, but it also means you never get the know your colleagues in the same way as you would when everyone would show up at work. Working together online means, you miss the subtle nuances of how a person is doing. In any case, I believe people, need people, to support them and I can only hope everyone has someone that has got their back.

Solitude vivifies; isolation kills. — Joseph Roux

Yummy — On to a lighter note. Food. I had so much yummy food in 2023. During our ski vacation, we had a delicious Tomahawk Steak. On several occasions, we had amazing Sushi. One weekend, we had planned a family brunch at a Mexican Restaurant, yet as we got there, we stood in front of a closed door (regardless of our reservation), lucky us, our second choice for brunch was right next door, and even luckier us, they still had a ten-person table. So we sat down at Wilma Wonder and had a marvelous brunch. I recall having baked eel and sole, which one can’t eat, any place better, than in the village I grew up in. I could go on a while more, especially about the food in Berlin, but you get the gist. For sure, it’s good, that I’m doing more sports 😂.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. — J.R.R. Tolkien

Zamonien — For about 22 hours, I morphed into a world called Zamonien. An audiobook from Walter Moers, a famous German author. He’s a true wordsmith and I adore his craft, his books, his fantasy. ”The Island of a Thousand Lighthouses” is yet again a fantastic work of his.

A completly different book, that deeply moved me in 2023, was Wo vielleicht das Leben wartet (Where Perhaps Life Awaits), written by Gusel Jachina. The first sentence of the book introduction translates into A victory for humanity in a hopeless situation. I couldn’t summarise the book better. Towards the very end of the book, all the nicknames of the children, who arrive at the final destination, where perhaps life awaits, are read out aloud. It takes perhaps ten minutes long, nickname after nickname, the entire story passes by one more time, and even when the story has long ended, these names continue to live on.

Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It’s a way of understanding it. —Lloyd Alexander

Another year went by…This is my 8th Year-in-Review and as in the prior years, I’ll go by the alphabet.

Altenberger Dom Advent Market

For the first time, my online shop tiny little joys went offline on a Christmas market. It was more stressful than I had anticipated but I had amazing helping hands and there was real joy in creating a beautiful booth, full of light and full of love and in communicating with wonderful shoppers directly. There was a couple, who bought a sachet of stars for their bakery lady, who always gives them extra treats. A tall tattooed man bought a tiny lasting red rose for the woman of his life. Not as a Christmas present, as they did not do Christmas Gifts but to give her that evening and show his eternal love. There were many customers, who returned a second time to buy even more gifts or to bring along other people. The temperature was around zero degrees, but the atmosphere was warm and cozy. Right after the weekend, I wasn’t sure whether I would want to do it again but with a little hindsight I say yes, this has to be repeated!

Freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin — inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night. — John J. Geddes

Blau-Gelbes Kreuz

The War in Ukraine put a heavy stamp on 2022. What happened there is sheer unbelievable and worst of all — it is not yet over. Before 2022 the Blau-Gelbes Kreuz (Blue Yellow Cross) was a small non-profit organisation, organizing amongst other things vacation trips for children from the East-Ukraine. During the past year, they grew above and beyond themselves. I wished I could’ve been of more help there but sometimes even volunteering isn’t that simple and the best intentions aren’t always fruitful. We do what we can in our own little ways and together with a group of women, we raised 5.000+ Euros with the sale of Peace bracelets. Most of this money went to the Blau-Gelbes Kreuz. A part of it went to Tetyana, a woman from Lviv, who helped my cousin on his way out of Kyiv. I’ve written in more detail about this as well as posted my cousin’s updates on my site www.titiatournois.com. Beyond that, I launched a colouring for peace website, which was probably not the most impactful thing I did. Nevertheless, I still send out colouring cards with every order, as even though it will not change the war it might just spark a moment of mutual awareness and sympathy. I’m a big believer that also tiny actions matter.

I cannot do all the good that the world needs. But the world needs all the good that I can do.
― Jana Stanfield

Colleagues

One of the most valuable things about having a job again is that a job generally comes with colleagues. I love having wonderful colleagues. That support each other, encourage each other, and bring out the best in each other. Being remote means we don’t see each other daily but we meet up often enough to feel a connection beyond mere tasks. One of the prerequisites of connection is openness and a good dose of humor. With those ingredients, all the sub-optimal shit (that honestly comes with any job), loses its edge.

Great colleagues are those who make work seem like play.

Determination

The line between stubborn and determined is fine. Last year before easter, looking for creative inspiration in some old booklets I bought as a teenager, I found an Easter Egg, made entirely of tiny paper rolls. As soon as I saw it, I couldn’t resist wanting to create such an egg. My first attempt failed miserably. Five hours in, I broke the egg into multiple pieces. I could have stopped there but then again I couldn’t. As I started over from scratch, I took more time, I was more precise and more cautious. Three days and 15 hours of precision work later, the egg was there. It’s a fragile piece. It probably contains less than an A4-sized piece of paper in total. Feels like a tiny little masterpiece…

You can find inspiration from others but determination is solely your responsibility. — Dodinsky

Eighteen

Parents are often reminded that “kids grow up so fast”. It’s a cliche but it is also damn true. My son turned 18 last December. The poor guy was sick as a dog and spend the week before and after his Birthday, drinking tea and broth and suffering like only man can. Not a nice way to celebrate your eighteenth birthday but it was a milestone nonetheless. We got him a huge inflatable 18. We had to go to three shops to finally get what we wanted. When we walked out of the shopping mall, the balloons shrank so heavily that they looked ill too, it was just the cold air outside, as soon as we entered the house they recharged. Every time I pass them, I’m a proud mom of two teenagers that are both turning into fine adults.

You may outgrow my lap, but you will never outgrow my heart.

Fifty x 3

Talking about growing up/older and birthday parties. Three dear friends celebrated their fiftieth Birthday in 2022. Two of those parties were on the exact same weekend. We weren’t quite sure if we still had the stamina for partying through the night, two days in a row. But we did 😉 Each of those parties were wonderful events with friends, dancing, drinking, and lots of catching up. Fabulous being able to do that again.

The night is not just here to sleep.

Game

Over the years, I’ve collected tons of questions and turned them into “half sentences”. With those sentences, I created a game named “Ergänze mich” = “Complete me”. It’s a game where players do not play against each other but with each other. There are three levels of prompts. The one-star prompts are fairly easy ones like “My favourite ice cream flavour is…”. The three-star prompts can be harder to complete. For example: “My first memory…” or “The most important decision, I had to make…” or “The most beautiful compliment, I once received …” The cards can be used as conversation starters and work for families as well as friends or colleagues. I played it with several groups and enjoyed it tremendously. It was also lovely selling this card game on the Christmas market.

Sell what you Love and Love What You Sell

Harbour

A home should be a safe harbour. On December 31st, we weren’t quite sure how our dog would cope with the sounds of the fireworks. Last year, firework sales were forbidden so there was a little noise but not very much. This year it felt like everyone was so eager to make up for last year that already the day before New Year’s Eve firecrackers were heard on the street. Hazel didn’t fancy her walks these days. Yet inside the house she was perfectly fine. We had friends over and headed out as the clock turned twelve to toast with the neighbours. I was eager to get back to the house to see how Hazel was doing without us. When I got back, she was in her cozy basket and as always wagging her tail to tell me she was happy to see me. She was not particularly anxious, she did not tremble. She felt safe. Considering she’s a shelter dog and still is anxious in many situations, this was heartwarming. She has found her safe harbour.

Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had. — Thom Jones

Illness

Just before Christmas my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. There are still tons of questions unanswered, especially around the severity and the option to operate. Hopefully, she’ll have more clarity soon. For sure this has changed our conversations. I asked her if there was anything on her bucket list that has not yet been ticked off. No, she said. There’s nothing left undone or unspoken. Isn’t that beautiful? She lives a rich life. Not in the financial sense. But rich in friends, children and grandchildren, hobbies and interests, and rich of an openness to life, that I wish for everyone to have. She would like to live another ten years or more. But she’s not afraid of whatever comes. That’s inspiring and it makes me proud as well.

Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May webe them. May we raise them.

Juice

For many years one of our neighbours organises bio-organic oranges imported straight from a Spanish farm. They are wonderfully sweet and tasty. They’re almost too good for juice. I brought two of them along when I visited my brother and my mom laughed at me. It reminded her of my father’s sister, who’d bring along an apple and present it as the greatest gift of all. All I could think was, isn’t that just lovely? I’m a big fan of tiny little gifts.

Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness. -Richard Bach

Knives

Christmas 2021, my sister cut her finger as she cut the bread she had brought along. We spoke about quality knives that evening and in 2022, one of the first resolutions I stuck with, was to get a set of quality knives and an elegant, plain, black, knife block. Most probably my best investment in 2022.

Keep it simple in the kitchen. If you use quality ingredients, you don’t need anything fancy to make food delicious: just a knife, a cutting board, and some good nonstick cookware, and you’re set. — Curtis Stone

Leendert

Even though my dad is no longer right here with us, he was with us many times and many moments. He was with us while we spend our family weekend in a lovely big house in Limburg, he was with us at the Christmas table, he was in our thoughts, in our dreams, and in our anecdotes. One day last summer, when I walked along the fields in Groede, a heron stood at the side of the road. As Hazel and I approached the heron, it stood there patiently, waiting for us to come closer. The heron looked at us as if he wanted to say hello, then he spread his enormous wings and flew off. Just like the heron that flew right above our head, the day after my dad died.

What we once have enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us. — Helen Keller

Mud Angel Run

Wet, muddy, pink, crazy, and exhilarating. With a group of global ladies, I ran the mud angel run. It’s a women-only obstacle run drawing attention to breast cancer. Our group spirit was plain awesome and I’m so happy and grateful that I joined the group. It was a cold day but even the outdoor cold shower, to get at least some of the mud off, felt refreshing. It might have helped that I carry a few extra kilos 😉 Plus we were smart, the Therme was right next to the event location and after our cold shower, we spend a wonderful few hours warming back up and relaxing.

Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with. — Robert Brault

Neighbours

After a three-year pause in 2022, our bi-annual Fauthstraßenfest took place again! We live in a U-shaped street with a wonderful “Wendehammer”. One of those German words for which there is no English equivalent. It is a turning area for cars, where the road only continues by a full turn. This “Wendehammer” is the perfect location for a “Bierwagen”. Ha, another typical German word. A portable bar really. A trailer with a roof, and a bar, beer from the tap, a fridge and water tap to clean glasses. Add a large grill, about one-hundred neighbours of all ages, a popcorn machine, music and you have the event of the year. Together we formed the number 2022 with our bodies and got a great drone group picture to memorize our great neighbourhood.

No one is rich enough to do without a neighbour. — Danish Proverb

Outline

I’ve been working together with a friend on a book project for quite some time now. We kicked off 2022 pretty effectively with a great outline. After that, we got distracted by all sorts of things. With the big worldly things, like the war in Ukraine, but just as well with the small everyday stuff like a Thermomix Dinner Party. We haven’t made much progress last year. Revisiting the outline though, this book project is not something we should stall on. The idea is too good. We still have a long way to go, yet we also have come further than we might currently appreciate.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. — J. R. R. Tolkien

PMO

PMO stands for Project Management Office. It is all about managing multiple priorities and projects. I hadn’t come across this term before but I was immediately intrigued and believe every mid-size to large company would benefit greatly from such a focussed effort to put the dots together and see the bigger picture. Way too often we succumb to the error of viewing projects and efforts in isolation from each other. I had a chance to take an excellent seminar on the topic matter and help initiate such Project Management Office at my current company. This year will show how fast the new team can move and bring about a cultural change as multiple-project-management touches many interacting disciplines. It’s never easy to go head-on deep into a subject and then pass it on, to other hands and let them work the magic. The good thing is, one never stops learning, about subject matter as well as about oneself.

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. — Winston Churchill

Quite

Isn’t it interesting how one and the same word, can have quite a different meaning, and nonetheless, we know quite well, what is meant when we read the word as part of a sentence? Quite can mean wholly, entirely, completely, absolutely, just as well as, a little, not very much, fairly, somewhat, a bit, or something in between all of those. Last year was quite lovely. Neither the best year of my life, nor the worst. Even though, I couldn’t quite tell you, which one of my years would fit either one of these labels. In the end, no year is quite like the other and still not quite that different either. Looking back, things tend to blend. When did I become the me I am now? Oh, getting into quite a philosophical mood here 😉 It’s rainy today, as I am writing up bits and pieces of this review. Quite, quite often, gets confused with quiet, yet it’s quite something different. If there’s one thing, I missed doing the past year, it’s taking some quiet time and playing around with words. Not in a desperate need for anyone to read them. Just to play with them.

The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can. — Neil Gaiman

RFM / Riesen

I’m breaking rules. I’ve decided the double up on the R and kill the X.

RFM stands for Recency, Frequency and Monetary. It’s a common framework to classify and cluster larger customer data sets. I had a blast last year, tag-teaming with a fabulous colleague, developing an RFM skeleton to be pretty damn proud of. That feeling of doing something worth doing in a way that ticks off all the boxes of a job well done, that’s what we aim for!

This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize that it is play.
— Alan Watts

Whereas Riesen, well, those are chocolate-covered caramels, or as my husband calls them “Plombenzieher”. They are certainly not the best thing to eat. Neither are peanut M&Ms and Toffifee, my other two “sins” where I just can’t quite find the right doses. Yet, what would life be without guilty pleasures?

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
― Oscar Wilde

Sleeping

So many people have sleep issues, and there certainly have been times when I’ve battled with the night myself. 2022 though was a near-perfect sleep year. Perhaps the dog gives my days, the structure I need, to sleep like a dog 😉

People say, ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ as if it were nothing. But it’s really a bizarre activity. ‘For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I’m going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.’

If you didn’t know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you’d seen.

They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the ‘mind adventures’ got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren’t unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.’

So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you’re in a science fiction movie. And whisper, ‘The creature is regenerating itself. ― George Carlin

Temperature drop

They say weather-wise April does whatever it wants. Last year, from April 2nd to April 3rd there was a 20-degree drop in temperature, from one day to the next. Crazy. When I browsed my picture library, it went from snow to pure sunshine. In 2022, for the first time, I joined a Fridays for Future walk. That by itself is surely nothing to write home about. I’m not a great example of sustainable living. I have hope in and for humanity though. I listened to the audiobook “What we owe our future” by William MacAskill, but it feels like it went in one ear and out the next. Around me, I’m seeing people taking a much clearer stand. They give up flying, they no longer own a car, they buy more unwrapped food, … the beauty of a review like this is that it makes me recap, not only about what I did but just as well about what I did not do.

Adults keep saying we owe it to the young people, to give them hope, but I don’t want your hope. I don’t want you to be hopeful. I want you to panic. I want you to feel the fear I feel every day. I want you to act. I want you to act as you would in a crisis. I want you to act as if the house is on fire, because it is. — Greta Thunberg

Unnützes Wissen

Sometimes it takes a while for an idea to come to fruition. Already in 2020, I made an advent calendar full of unnecessary facts. It was a first simple draft, printed on my home PC, each card cut by hand. It took two years for this prototype to get back onto my table and this time I got a small sample of just fifty calendars professionally printed. They sold out in two days. I ended up re-ordering three times and sold 600+ of them. If you imagine, this is just a side job and I package and sent everything out myself, this is a large number. My office is still in what I call “creative-chaos-mode”. My list of wanna-do’s is long but one of my mottos is and will always be; I’m not in a hurry. I have enough time. There is no wrong or right moment.

The maximum success is reached when you are never busy. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Vacation

Looking back at my photos from 2022, I realise how fortunate we are. The morning shots I made in Serfaus while walking the dog before we went off skiing take my breath away. The sky, the mountains, the sunrise. Okay, I must admit, one morning, Hazel decided to roll and roll and roll on the field that had just been fertilised with compost. She stank so heavily we had to bathe her from top to toe. But even that memory makes me smile.

The summer in Italy was hot. We stayed at three different locations, each having their own beauty and their own pitfalls. Like always. The first location was gorgeous but hard to reach. We scrammed our brand new car because the road was awfully narrow. The second location we had a parking spot right in front of the small hotel, no car issues but before we even got to our room, we saw the pool as well as the hundreds of Italians who all came just for the day. Oh well, the evenings were nice and quiet and the food was incredible. At the last location, the host forgot to tell us which door would be ours and we had to ring more than ten doors in this big apartment house, before Mary, a lovely old lady, was able to help us find the door that belonged to our set of keys. Next to the sun, the ocean, snorkelling, and the Italian food, our dog actually swam, and this time completely voluntarily 😉

Oh, the places you’ll go — Dr. Seuss

Workaction

Besides vacation, this was also my first year to have an official Workaction. For three weeks, I rented a small house in Groede, close to where I grew up in the Netherlands. Our daughter worked at a local restaurant and I worked my normal job from there. Hazel loved the beach walks and we were very happy to learn that if she sits in the front of the car, she’s much happier and no longer pukes. My mom cooked and we were able to spend a lot of quality time together. On her Birthday, it’s also the wedding anniversary of my aunt and uncle and we treated ourselves to big delicious fresh lobsters. To be repeated!

One of the secret benefits of using remote workers is that the work itself becomes the yardstick to judge someone’s performance. — Jason Fried

Yeast

Already in my last year-in-review, I wrote about Babka, the chocolate bread loaf I tried to make every month. Well, it requires yeast and what I like about yeast is putting the dough in the fridge at night and then taking it out in the morning when it is more than twice the size. It’s such an astonishing transformation. I can’t help being fascinated by these things. Like the process of making Kefir. Last year, I did that for the first time. One day I walked the dog and passed by a lovely acquaintance. She carried a paper bag and Hazel — who is usually shy with strangers—, was more than attracted to this paper bag. I asked what was in it and she said: “A bottle of homebrewed Kefir, it’s actually very good for dogs”. She passed me a jar with milk and a Kefir grain and gave some good instructions. And indeed Hazel loved it and so did I. As the summer came it became harder to keep up the process and now the grain is still in the freezer. It’s about time to get it back out and restart making Kefir!

Frightened of change? But what can exist without it? What’s closer to nature’s heart? Can you take a hot bath and leave the firewood as it was? Eat food without transforming it? Can any vital process take place without something being changed? Can’t you see? It’s just the same with you — and just as vital to nature. — Marcus Aurelius

Zopf

On our way to Italy, we stopped in Switzerland to visit a very dear friend. I told her during our car ride, I read Der Zopf a book by Laetitia Colombani. She not only knew the book but had several other books from her as well, which she happily passed on to me. During our two-week vacation, I ended up reading seven books. Der Zopf (In English The Braid) remained the most impressive one. It’s a story about three women, on three different continents, with very different lives and different problems to tackle. Along the way, all three storylines get interwoven, braided together like a Zopf.

Books and doors are the same thing. You open them, and you go through into another world. — Jeanette Winterson

Here it is — a new year has come — 2022. Time to take a moment to look back.

This is my 7th Year-in-Review and as in the prior years, I’ll go by the alphabet. An approach you will not likely read about anywhere else on the amazing worldwide web. I’m not a rebel, that’s not my reason or excuse for stubbornly sticking with it. Going by the alphabet makes me go deep into the neurological pathways of my brain and scan my memory without resistance of any sort or kind. For most letters, more than one word comes to mind, then again for other letters it’s a real challenge finding a new word as the years pass by. I’m always pleased when the work is done. Don’t they say that everything worthwhile requires effort…I consider it my start off the year sport-meditation, where I let my monkey mind jump around and around until it is so worn out that it eases down into a peaceful quietness.

2021 from A to Z

Avondmarkt — Traditions are something to honor whenever one can. Going to the evening market in Sluis, a tiny village adjacent to my hometown, is one of those sacred mother-daughter things we aim to do every summer. The weather was lovely, the shopping was awesome, the food delicious, but best of all was the company…thanks mom, for being you.

I’m a strong woman because a strong woman raised me.

Backnang — Is not only a picturesque town about 30 kilometers from Stuttgart but also the hometown of WIRmachenDRUCK, the company that onboarded me past September. Yeah. After 3 years and 3 months of mini-retirement, I was delighted to take on this opportunity. Four months in, I’m fortunate and extremely happy to say I feel quite at home already. WIRmachenDRUCK is an ambitious company with great potential and I’m excited to be part of its future. My role involves optimizing processes and creating data streams that enable smarter and faster decision-making. On the one hand, it requires big picture thinking while on the other hand, I get to dive real deep into the nitty-gritty details. Many people tend to excel at one or the other. I truly enjoy the balancing act.

There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle. ― Deepak Chopra

Coffin — It’s hard to find the right words when losing someone dear. I tend to say though I did not lose my dad. He went on a journey, to a place where we could not follow him. At least not yet. We made him a coffin. It came by post as a so-called “Do it yourself” package. We poured every inch of our love into it. Everyone in its very own way. I went to pick up the toolset from my uncle, my brother put the coffin together, my sister, her family, and my daughter did most of the painting, there was a rainbow piano, waves, boats, hearts, birds and everyone painted their name on it. It became the most beautiful coffin I’ve ever seen. Full of vivid colours, life, and love and I am certain my dad would’ve been so proud to have been bedded into it.

After your death you will be what you were before your birth — Arthur Schopenhauer

Darkness — In every darkness there is light. A few months after the funeral we met again and together we carried my father’s ashes to the sea. The moon shone brightly as we placed the ashes in small paper boats lit with beeswax candles. We walked into the dark sea and placed the tiny boats onto the waves. None of us knew how exactly, and whether at all, this would work, but the universe was with us and those tiny little boats went miles into the sea. We watched them for a long time as they went their way, their tiny little lights slowly disappearing into the horizon. Wave by wave. Off you went, my dear papa and even so, you’ll always be with me.

Dying is a troublesome business: there is pain to be suffered, and it wrings one’s heart; but death is a splendid thing — a warfare accomplished, a beginning all over again, a triumph. — George Bernard Shaw

Edith Egar— I don’t recall where I read about Edith Egar but somehow her book “In der Hölle tanzen” found its way into my hands. The English title of the book is “The Choice – Even in hell, hope can flower” which in German has been adopted to “Dancing in hell — How I survived Auschwitz and found my freedom.” Years ago I read “Man’s search for meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl. I wasn’t surprised to learn their paths crossed. Fragments from her book will stay with me forever. I get physical reactions when I recap them to other people. Her stories went deep under my skin. In 2021 I did not read a whole lot. I planned to read 42 books and I merely read 21. That does not at all bother me though.

In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you. ― Mortimer J. Adler

Förster & Kreuz— Besides reading books, there’s a handful of newsletters /blogs I read regularly. One of them is from Förster & Kreuz
There was this article about the “Storms in Life” that started off with a real-life story of the trees tipping over in the Biosphere 2 Experiment in Phoenix, Arizona. Constructed between 1987 and 1991, Biosphere 2 was originally meant to demonstrate the viability of closed ecological systems to support and maintain human life in outer space. Even though the project was considered a failure it brought various insights. For example, the trees inside Biosphere 2 grew more rapidly than they did outside of the dome, but due to the lack of storms and wind, they fell over before reaching maturation. … Without stress wood, a tree can grow quickly, but it cannot support itself fully. It cannot withstand normal wear and tear, and survive. It is so relatable to us humans. Here is a lovely blog post I found on the very same topic.

Temper us in fire, and we grow stronger. When we suffer, we survive. ― Cassandra Clare

Guarantee— Nothing in life is guaranteed. I’m taking nothing for granted. Sometimes love is hard work. Sometimes we need to look deep into our souls to know what’s the way forward. 2021 was such a year. Looking back I am proud of how we managed as a couple and as a family. They say love is give and take. In many ways, that’s an understatement. Sometimes love requires you to jump over your shadow. To start anew. Wholeheartedly. That’s not easy. But it is possible. I’m glad it is.

Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. — Nicholas Sparks

Hazel — We picked up Hazel last April, a scared little bundle, who had just arrived from an awfully long trip all the way from Romania. She was a bit smaller than we imagined, cuter than we could have hoped for, and she has enriched our lives every day since. When my phone prepared me a photo review of the year 90% of the pictures had a least one dog in it. Our new family member has brought lots of love into the house.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can rescue it.

Inflatable Sun — My sister-in-law is a great gift-giver and gift-wrapper. It has become more and more complicated to give a teenager a Christmas gift, they have so much already and the wishes they still have, are often too large to be a gift. My son is seventeen now. Time for his first vacation with friends. Four boys off to Spain this coming summer. So a little pocket money was accompanied by an inflatable sun. I am fond of such little treasures, like pre-mementos. In German there’s a saying: Vorfreude ist die schönste Freude.= The greatest pleasure lies in anticipation. Literally translated Vorfeude means Prejoy. Alain Botton writes about it in his book “How Proust Can Change Your Life”. About the fact that nowadays we want & get so much instantly, that we forget how rewarding anticipation can be.

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. — A.A. Milne

Juntos— the Spanish word for together. We are in this together. This world, this life, this pandemic, this city, this neighbourhood, this family. There is a lot we need to figure out. There is a lot we don’t know. There is a lot we don’t agree on. And yet there is also so much common ground. We sometimes forget that in the light of all our differences.

And so we lift our gaze, not to what stands between us but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. — Amanda Gorman

Kazuo Ishiguro — An author I much appreciate. Last year I read “Klara and the Sun”. A novel about what it means to be human, about life and love through the eyes of an android. A beautiful read. There are numourous reviews and summaries of the book so I don’t feel the urge to write one here. Giving this book a place in my alphabet perhaps serves as a reminder of the beauty of gracefulness. Klara is kind, observing, loving but most of all she’s at ease with herself, with her choices, with her fate. Part of that must have to do with the fact that when she has a hunch or better an urge of something she must do, she doesn’t rest until she gets it done.

Courage is grace under pressure. — Ernest Hemingway

Loaf — There is bread, and then there is bread, and then there is Babka. In 2021, I started to bake a chocolate Babka every last Sunday of the month. My daughter seriously loves Babka and my son is more than fond of it as well. The three of us together eat one entire Babka Loaf as our brunch. My timing has sometimes been slightly off but nevertheless, this is something I‘d like to keep up. The idea, that if my kids think of their teenhood many years from now, they’d recall Babka, yeah, I’d fancy that. Perhaps that is just me projecting my own wishes and desires but even if that’s so, I see little harm in that.

Some foods are so comforting, so nourishing of body and soul, that to eat them is to be home again after a long journey. To eat such a meal is to remember that, though the world is full of knives and storms, the body is built for kindness. ― Eli Brown

Maja & Silas — Being a mom, seeing your babies become toddlers, then school kids, teenagers, and now, well, almost adults. From having them on your lap. to having to stretch your legs to put your head against their shoulders. Motherhood is a wild ride. It’s the thing in my life I’m most proud of. I don’t want to write anecdotes here, my kids wouldn’t appreciate that. But if they ever decide to read these reviews, perhaps not until I’m gone, they are reminded of just how much I love them.

There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. — Jill Churchill

No Wifi— Last year autumn my husband took me to a romantic hotel in the middle of nowhere. Just woods, a small sauna, magnificent food, and neither wifi nor 3G Network. He is absolutely not the kind of person to organize these sorts of things. The more thankful I was that he did.

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do. — Henry Ford

Oneself — Another year went by. I turned 46. Am I more myself now than I was before? I don’t believe in such a thing. One is always oneself. Who else could one be? And yet every year I feel I’ve grown a little. Aging is so often connected to becoming old. Yet we start aging the minute we are born. Being and becoming go hand in hand. Looking back includes thinking about where one stands. I might only be halfway my life’s journey. No-one knows. Some people like to live life as if they have only very little time left. A day, a year. Whatever timeframe they choose, they need to feel some urgency to make sense of what is most important to do. I don’t need that. I have plenty of urgency. Perhaps that is why I live well by the exact opposite. My motto is “I still have time…” I don’t need to stress about the things I haven’t gotten to yet. There’s a time and place for everything. It will come. I will get to it…in due time.

The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
I know what you mean,” said the little old man.
— Shel Silverstein

Precious — I looked up the word precious in the dictionary. I bet you’ll find this in many of my writings. Being as well trilingual as slightly dyslectic means I’m constantly learning and forgetting 🙂 So I‘ve gotten into the habit of looking things up to become more succinct. Precious means “of great value because of being rare, expensive, or important.” Even though there are 7,8 billion people in this world, each and every life is precious. Even though there are 86,400 seconds in each day, every second is precious. Even though there are 30,000 days in an average lifetime, every day is precious. When I think of the word precious, I also think of fragile, and of love, and of something I want to put my arms around. In German, it translates to wertvollor kostbar. Something we value. 2021 was another precious year. What made it precious? The people in my life, my flourishing shop, my new job, …, I could go on here for a while but perhaps what makes life most precious is death? It is the knowledge that all life is finite. Awareness of our mortality encourages us to savour the richness of the present moment. I believe after death there is something, and that something is just as precious. Therefore dying is not a scary thought to me. Even so, we are here now and I believe this must be seized. I have a daily alert on my phone. An appointment with myself. It has only three words in it. Aware, honest, and gentle. My way of reminding myself how I want to honour the preciousness of life. I found this precious quote and looking at it, I want to make doing more of that my goal for 2022 or really, for life:

This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in your case you always forgot who you are and how much you’re loved. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn’t any kind of burden for me, because I love who you are very much. Every time I remind you, I get to remember with you, which is my pleasure.― James Lecesne

Quotes— Somewhat funny. I always write up the words of my reviews before I start typing in my thoughts. As you noticed I ended up adding a quote after every paragraph. This is the first year-in-review where I’ve done that. I did not plan to, it just happened. The reason for picking the word “Quotes” for 2021 is that every star I fold has a quote or a saying in it. I’m certainly not the only quote-lover. The internet is filled with pages and pages of quotes. My sister is getting bored by the repetitiveness and lack of originality but not me. I love things well said. Words well chosen. Quotes are like mini-stories. I believe strongly that the stories we tell ourselves day by day impact our lives.

There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world. ― Terry Pratchett

Rainbow — On my 46th Birthday, I went with my daughter, my mom, and Hazel for a walk along the sea. It was raining when we left, but when we arrived at the Lighthouse, the sun came out, and like a peacock showing its feathers, the horizon burst into colours and we gazed at a most gorgeous rainbow. It felt like nature giving me a birthday gift and it made me feel blessed and grateful.

Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms. — Janice Thompson

Siblings— We don’t always agree on everything but we make for an absolutely amazing team. Year by year, I am eternally grateful for my mom giving birth to three children, and for my dad’s part in the game as well 😉
Having a sister and a brother, both extraordinary in their very own way, enriches my life, perhaps more than they realize.

The power of a sibling who knows everything about you, who knows the family you grew up in, who carries half your genes — there’s nothing quite like that. — Jeffrey Kluger

Teardrop — Almost every morning, when I walk the dog, a teardrop runs down my left eye. It’s a peculiar thing, I have no idea why it happens. It is always the same eye and usually only one drop really. I’ve become used to it, I’d even say I’m looking forward to it. It is like a ritual that earthens me. It feels peaceful as if the entire “Weltschmerz” fits into a tiny teardrop, and when it is released, the world is still the same world but nevertheless a bit more …unruffled? I aim to take that calm soothing tranquility into the rest of my day and even when that does not always last the whole day, the next day, I go for a walk again and aim again.

Thirty spokes share the hub of a wheel;
yet it is its center that makes it useful.
You can mould clay into a vessel;
yet, it is its emptiness that makes it useful.
Cut doors and windows from the walls of a house;
but the ultimate use of the house
will depend on that part where nothing exists.

Therefore, something is shaped into what is;
but its usefulness comes from what is not. ― Tao Te Ching

Umbrellas — During our vacation in Italy, as we walked through a small village with narrow streets, the roofs were all connected with strings with dozens of colourful umbrellas attached to them. It was not the first time, I’ve seen such an installation, but even so, it looked so cheerful, it reminded me things do not always have to be new and inventive. Some things are worthwhile just repeating because they’re popular for a reason.

I love everything that is upbeat, lively, cheerful, life–affirming. ― Marty Rubin

Vaccination— A topic I can’t pass by when thinking of the year 2021. Never before did I get four vaccinations in less than nine months time … three vaccinations against covid and the fourth one was a tetanus update. During our vacation in Italy, the Italians won the European Championships. We watched the game from the terrace of a small restaurant adjacent to the beach. When the penalty shootout started, for a moment I thought of walking back to our apartment with Hazel, our dog, that at that time had only been with us for a few months. Had I only followed that hunch. I stayed and when the Italians won the game, hell broke loose. Hundreds of people ran out onto the street, yelling, screaming, throwing firecrackers, it was nuts. It was a warm night so I was wearing a thin sleeveless dress. I had to carry Hazel, she would have gotten under the feet of all those people if I hadn’t. Her heart was pounding so fiercely, she was shivering all over. I tried to hold her tight to stop the squirming, her nails are quite sharp though. By the time we finally arrived in a calmer street, my arms and shoulders were covered with bloody scratches. Even though it’s something I surely do not want to repeat, it was a bonding experience. Seeing how much confidence Hazel has won since she’s with us is heartwarming. Being at the ocean helped to keep the scratches clean and luckily they healed well. Anyhow, that’s when I realized it is wise to keep one’s vaccinations up to date. They might be heavily discussed at the time but to me, they are a true blessing to mankind.

Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. — Joyce Brothers

Wild animals— I read an article in the newspaper about how due to Corona the number of wild boars and rabbits that were hunted was significantly less than usual whereas more deer were shot, after all, to shoot a deer it needs only one hunter whereas hunting boars and rabbits, in general, happens in larger groups. It once again made me realise how each and every event affects our world in so many more ways than one thinks of. As I’m not a vegetarian, I try to at least be as considerate as possible when purchasing meat. It is important for the health of the forest that not all deer survive, and at the same time, the health of the forest is important for those deer that populate it. In the end, everything requires a certain balance even when the math is not quite that simple.

All things appear and disappear because of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else. Wherever there is light, there is shadow; wherever there is length, there is shortness; wherever there is white, there is black. — Bukkyo Dendo Kyonkai

Xerox— ok I admit, the x remains problematic. I choose Xerox as in 2021 I purchased a new printer, not a xerox but an Epson eco tank. It is quite incredible how different two printers can be. I kept my HP Envy as I use both for different kinds of print jobs. On top, I now own a Cricut plotter. My office has really turned into a creative zone and I’m pretty excited about that.

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. — Maya Angelou

Year project— on the topic of creativity; Last year February I joined a creative year project, where all the participants paid a self-defined fee to join in. This fee would be returned if the participant managed to deliver on at least 30 of the 52 weekly projects. I signed up in an impulse something I surely do not regret. We all started off very strongly. Along the way we lost a few, it is interesting how hard it can be to get back on track after missing more than 2,3 weeks. They say “Don’t break the chain” and there is a lot to say for that. Consistency makes things easier. That said, I’m an even bigger believer in being gentle to oneself. And the gentle me says that everyone who journeyed along was part of something memorable. The project is almost over. I’m expecting an end spurt. I already did my 30 projects but there are still a few I’d love to finish. On top of which I’d like to capture all the finished projects in a single place. Ideally in an actual book rather than a blog. While writing these words, I smile. There are always so many things I’d like to do. But just like everyone else, my days only have 24 hours…sometimes I need to remind myself of that fact 😊-

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once. — Calvin Coolidge

Zen— which brings me right to my last letter of this review. When I started folding paper stars, it was a zen activity. Crafting something with your hands can have a great calming effect. Especially the Zen Stars, which for instance say:

Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? — Lao Tzu

Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand — relax. — Osho

To live — is that not enough? — D.T. Suzuki

Then sales picked up further and further, and suddenly folding stars stopped being a zen activity. In October all the fortune star advent calendars were sold out already. I pulled my marketing budget, I raised my prices three times in a row…yet orders kept coming in. Luckily, I’m not the kind of person, who believes one must stem everything oneself. So I got help, tremendous help. Especially from my daughter, who now has a permanent job at tinylittlejoys. We’re a really good team. Together we’ll make sure to be better prepared for the next Christmas Season. Even though one can never really know what’s coming, and that’s quite ok — as whatever is coming — it’s in the stars 🌟☺️.

The year 2021 has started and the year 2020 has gone into history. Time to take a moment to look back. This is my 6th Year-in-Review and as in the prior years, I’ll go by the alphabet.

2020 from A to Z

Advent-calendar — Since many years, Vicky, a dear friend of mine, sends me a card with 24 tiny windows, which when you open them up contain various Christmas symbols and scenes. It is such a lovely tradition. Like many traditions it’s been rather commercialised, by now there is the chocolate/candy version but also Playmobil, beer bottles, shampoo & cream versions. You name it, the options are endless. And since 2020, there is one more option! I’ve sold about 100 advents-calendars made of tiny paper stars, containing wisdom quotes. It was the first product in my store and my first attempt at selling handcraft products online. Customers can have the calendar sent directly to the recipient, so I wrote dozens of little cards with personal messages to go along with the calendars. That was probably my personal highlight. Enabling others to show those they love that they do. I’d be thrilled do a lot more of that in the coming years.

Black List, Breaking Bad, Better call Saul — 2020 was the year of Netflix, Zoom and Amazon. I can’t say the trend missed us. Black list was just one of the series with endless episodes and seasons that my daughter, my husband and me watched. We also watched “Breaking Bad” and the prequel “Better Call Saul”, as well as “The Queen’s Gambit” and a german series called the “Die Trauerrednerin”. I wouldn’t say we “binge-watched”, as we never watch series before dinner, nevertheless, I don’t think, I ever watched as much TV as in 2020. That said, these moments on the living room sofa, brushing my daughters hair or just being nice and comfy together, will be remembered as lovely moments of togetherness. Making the most of our joint time. As the kids grow up darn fast!

Covid 19 / Corona — The year 2020 showed us how fragile everything we take for granted is. Do I need to say more? I do not think so. Last year in spring, I wrote a piece about Corona inspired by writings from a Dutch and Italian woman. At that moment, we had no idea yet that this “phase” was going to be much more of a marathon and that still now we are at the midst of it. Nevertheless, my words back then still capture the essence of how I feel about what’s happening.

Deutsch — At the start of 2020, I had a job interview, for a role at the city premises to coordinate the numerous volunteers, who are helping refugees trying to rebuild their lives in Germany. I really wished I had been able to get this role. Unfortunately, in my job interview I was rather open and honest about the fact that I still can’t write German without making quite a few spelling mistakes. I’ve searched for spelling tools that would help me get better but the kind of mistakes I make are not spotted / corrected by any of the currently available tools. Sometimes honesty is good, perhaps too much of it not. It is a fine line. They took someone else. That’s life.

Etsy — The platform for creatives to sell their creations. The place where my Advent-calendars and all other tiny stars found a home. At this moment, I am working on new products to add.

The joy of making something with my hands. It is meditative and fulfilling.

It makes me loose every sense of time. Sometimes I wonder if it is my flight out of reality or a true future ambition. Perhaps it is both. If you want to see what I make, go visit my tinylittlejoys store!

Family — Where to start on this one? Going into 2020, before anyone had heard of Corona, we went through probably one of the most intense times ever. My parents had to leave the extremely large premises, they were renting until the building would get sold. It was clear from the start that this rental home was a temporary solution. It was in absolute need for renovation, the rent was lower than the gas bills. It used to be a city hall, the city hall my parents took their vows and renewed them 40 years later. Problem was the isolation was a disaster. Moving from this enormous building to a small townhouse was a most devastating experience for my mother. She had to let go of 90% off all the things she ended up collecting in 50+ years. While a the same time, my dad was no longer able to support her as by now he hardly knows her name. When everything falls apart it is hard to stay sane. We somehow made it through.

Knowing that our love bonds are strong enough 
to sail through heavy storms is precious.

It did knock my out of my shoes health-wise, which meant I had to cancel my trip to New York and wasn’t able to toast with Vicky on her 50th birthday. One can not have it all. Luckily, Vicky was able to make it to New York and back really just days before the lockdown would have kept here there. Crazy times. So much is sure.

Greece — Never give up hope. Our flight schedule changed about 4 or 5 times and really other than me, no one in my family thought this vacation was actually going to take place. But we had our bookings and my husband was ok with not cancelling unless we would be cancelled upon. Which wonder, wonder, did not happen. Greece was at the time not very much hit by the pandemic and so we ended up flying. We flew to Athens and then drove West to the Peloponnes. The weather was beautiful, the sights were as well. There were hardly any tourists. We visited the Akropolis, where not even a handful of people walked around. We had booked a small apartment right at the sea and lying there at an empty beach was quite surreal. Greece is enchanting. Such contrast to a lot of other things which were far from perfect. Even when my thoughts were all over the pace, I swallowed every idilic moment deep into my core and am truly grateful we were able to capture and cherish this summer time feeling in the middle of a year that will not soon be forgotten.

Home — As I am writing this Year-in-Review, I am looking out of the window. We have a tiny green garden. The hammock just about fits in the middle of it. Yesterday, a handful of snow fell, but it melted as it hit the ground. What I want to say is, that home is home. And in times like those we are in, that is worth so much. Everyone has enough space to retreat and yet not so much that we loose sight of each other either. There is a guitar and a piano, more or less good wifi, a kitchen to cook and bake, a comfortable sofa, and everything else one could wish for. Louisa Hay, is said to thank her bed when she wakes up in the morning. I like that idea. I thank my home for having us live here.

Income — In my last year-in-review I wrote that 2020 was going to be the year I’d have a positive income again. Well, I neither failed nor succeeded. With no new job in sight, and my SAP certification being less helpful than I had expected, at least I ended up finally starting to build something new. It is still small. Perhaps that is why I named it tiny little joys. But if there is one thing I learned, then that small things can be real big.

And everything big once started small.

Jogging — I’ve tried jogging in the past but I never really got into it. This time I wanted it to be different. So many people around me were finding joy in running that I felt I needed to give it another try. I installed the app “From coach to 5K” that was recommended to me, bought a pair of running shoes and off I went. Luckily, the app builds up really slow while at the start I was nearly dying after two minutes of running :-). But I got better week after week and moreover I started enjoying it.

That fabulous feeling of improving oneself can be quite enthralling.

I had a few hicks up, first with my eyes and later on with my knees. When I finally made it to run 20 minutes without intervals, my left knee brought me to a full stop. Too bad. I am pretty much recovered now and I do not want to give it up. So for the moment I am doing WII-sport exercises to make the knee the stronger and then we’re going to give it another try! 5K is the goal for 2021! It is not quite a marathon, so it must be doable.

Kindness Advent — In the group Being Global in Bergisch Gladbach there are some truly terrific women. We went together for walks, did Zoom calls, started a cinema club, and then the Kindness Advent was launched, full of random acts of kindness to cheer one-other up. And again it showed the importance of these small things we can do to uplift another and keep up the spirit. I am very thankful for this lovely group of people.

Lifelong Learner — I’m a question-lover. Take for instance the question:

„When was the last time, you did something for the first time?“

I had little notion of how difficult it is to make a good product shot. I had no idea how to advertise on Pinterest. Setting up a small online store is very different from managing a large one. We never stop learning. Isn’t that a wonderful thing?

Moving — I wrote about my parents moving from a large temporary house to a small townhouse. Well, that was not the only move. After the summer, my father moved to a nursery home. We all knew it had to come this way. Yet, actually going through it was heart-wrenching. At first he had share a room with a 90+ year old man in a wheelchair. The room hardly fit two beds and two closets. My dad used to be so happy out in nature, out on the ocean, out and about. And now he was locked up in a place with old people, of which many in a further stadium as himself. The mixture of guilt and relief my mom had to go through was heavy. As if she hadn’t had enough to swallow yet. But life is not all guns and roses. And luckily she is a tough cookie and slowly she’s finding peace again. On the 28th of December, my dad made yet another move. To a single room, with a street facing window, in the village he grew up in. Due to Corona, I have not yet been able to visit him in his new domicile, but soon I hope I will be able to. For a moment, we were worried it would be hard for him to reorient again. But he has always been an adventurer and even when he might not remember that, he still is.

No — No Vietnam, no New York, no skiing, no job, no cinema, no dining out, no big Christmas dinner, I could continue like that for a while… When my daughter looked at the words for this review. She said. „That’s quite negative“. But no is not only negative. It also creates room. Room for other things. Some people find it really hard to say no. From that perspective, Corona had its benefits. No excuses needed. Personally I rather say no, then simply have it forced upon me. But life is not all just beers and skittles. Life is what it is, as much as it is what we make it out to be.

There’s sunshine, and there’s rain, and snow and storm. Change is constant. Every day, a new day is born.

A new day, with new challenges as well as well new opportunities.

Oscar Wilde — One of my favourite authors. So much of what he wrote is still so relevant today. Timeless wisdom. Wrapped in ironic, iconic ways. Folding the Oscar Wilde Stars and selecting the quotes for those stars was a pleasure. So many wise words were going through my fingers, I felt grounded and growing. Like a tree, which roots go deep into the earth, while at the same its branches stretch far and out.

Potential — At times I find it helpful to look up words, just to see them spelled out in a „dictionary way”.

Potential = possible when the necessary conditions exist.

There have been times this year, when people dear to me suggested that I have more potential than “folding stars”. It was said with truly good intentions. Feedback most often hurts when there’s some truth to it. It makes one doubt if one is one the wrong track. But what’s the right and what’s the wrong track? We are often made believe that there are limitless tracks to choose from. More so than ever before in history, we are self-made man and woman. Only the sky is the limit. But how true is that? Let’s look up the word Option.

Option = one thing that can be chosen from a set of possibilities, or the freedom to make a choice.

Sometimes our options are actually limited. Now, that is not a disaster but it is fact, that we must be willing to see. There’s a Ted Talk from the school of life that I’ve watched multiple times. I love the speed, the humour and foremost the message it contains about a kinder, gentler philosophy of success and Alain Botton’s point about taking the time to probe our personal notion of success. Because as a matter a fact, I really truly enjoy building up my online craft store. I want to see where I can take it. I am thrilled every time my phone makes that little buzzing sound when a new order comes in and I love writing the messages that people add for the recipient of their tiny little gifts. I love enabling people to show their love, to those they love.

Quadrants — The Q is the letter that makes me doubt doing this Year-in Review by my A-Z method 🙂 Yet, any type of limitation, adds a level of creativity. So this year, I choose the word quadrants. I am a fan of visualisations of data, and quick frankly of life itself. Since a few years, I regularly score my life on a pie chart, when I look at my past charts it shows I’m a notorious optimist. Optimist might not actually be the right word as the pie looks at the Now rather than at the future. Perhaps I came into this world with a pre-installed bright-spot scanner. It is not that I’m unable to see the bad stuff, I have my doubts and insecurities and all that, but bottom line, I just need to look outside and see a little squirrel run by and that resets life, just like that.

Live your life by the minute.

A quote from my wise words star collection. That’s what it boils down to. If we focus on the bright spots, and live our life by the minute, then all the hick-ups get swallowed by the bigger picture, which in the end we ourselves paint.

Race — Life is not a race. Life is an adventure. I’m 45 now, I might still have half a life ahead of me. Last year, I learned that Peter Drucker wrote 35 books of which he wrote 2/3 after he turned 65. That delights me! We often hear we need to live as if this day is our last, as we could get run over by a bus any day. But is all that hurry to do things really necessary? Clearly, I do not spend my days laying in bed or on the sofa but I do think things are allowed to take time. Detours are allowed, nonsense is allowed, getting stuck is allowed. It is all part of the adventure. Not everything wants or needs to be optimised. Being and becoming walk hand in hand. They require no force to happen.

SAP — Nine months of studying. Countless tests. A handful of certificates. I’ve entered the world of SAP. And yet not quite. As I was writing up this yearly review, I had lined up all my words in a multi-phased process, and as I approached the end of my draft, I realised that SAP did not show up anywhere. As if I had forgotten all about it. How selective our memory can be! Nine months out of twelve and three months later, looking back at the entire year, I forget about all the effort, all note taking, all the quizzes, all the training and exercises. I guess that is what Daniel Kahnemann calls the peak experience. Selective memory can ride out so much and three months of Etsy overruled nine months of SAP just like that. Interesting!

“The one who rides in front” — Last year August, I visited my parents for the last time while my dad was still living at home. We wanted to go for bike tour, but my parents’ bikes had been stolen by some drunk people and only my mothers bike had reappeared. So we rented a bike for dad and for myself in a nearby village. My mom dropped us off at the rental place and after she made sure, my dad had a bike he could properly ride on, she drove home and there I was. Just me and my dad, and two bikes. She had told my dad to stay right behind me. As we rode off, I kept looking back to see where he was. Slowly, I eased up. We rode through Schoondijke, a little village along the way and as we passed the church I saw my niece with her new born baby. The baby shower had been cancelled due to Corona, but in August outdoors, I saw no reason not to stop and say hello and catch a glance. Well, it wasn’t all that easy to stop my papa. About 30 meters later, I finally got him to stop. I tried to get him to turn around and meet my niece, Tess. I wasn’t very successful so in the end, my niece was faster catching up with us than we with her. By that time, I had called out Tess’ name probably a dozen times. As she stopped a “corona-distance” my dad looked at her and said: „Hi Tess.“ She looked surprised and asked me if he really still knew her name. I said, well, I just called out your name a dozen times, I guess it sticked with him. I looked at my dad, and asked him: „Pap, do you still know my name?“ He stared at me for a moment. Then he said: “Die, die voorop rijd” or on english. “The one who rides in the front”. It made me tear up a little. Yes, papa, I am the one who rides in the front now, when mom is not there. I thought of He, who Dances with the Wolves, and knew I treasured my new name.

Umarmst du mich mal? — This is the name of the podcast I started in August 2020. It is a podcast with smart questions and wise and joyful stories. It took a bit of courage to publish in my less than perfect German. After all, it’s the language of poets and thinkers. But I let go my resistance and went ahead. I need a new mic and after my end of December Pause I need to get back into my Sunday posting routine but the first seventeen episodes are live! They can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or right here.

Votings — I’m not the most political person, but 2020, I did check my phone more than once to see the final outcomes of the US elections. If Shakespeare would still be alive, I would have been dying to read the story he would write up after being a spectator in this brouhaha (new word for me…). Crazy times and I’m happy at least that sanity won the game, even when it did so only by a hair’s breath. I can’t even being to imagine what would have happened if things turned out differently and honestly I don’t want to either.

Water — Before my jogging adventure, I spend many hours at the outdoor pool this summer. Normally the outdoor pool is a crowdy place but due to Corona restrictions this was not the case this year. I’m a water child. I’ve loved the ocean, the sea, the bathtub and the shower and well any kind of water since the day I was born. Both my children were born in the water. So one of the positive side effects of the corona pandemic was that I was able to swim forty-two 50 meter rows many a time last year. It might be different coming summer, we’ll see, but I’ll try to stick to this habit, as I felt like a fish in the water.

Xmas — Many things were different in 2020. So was Christmas. It was sad not to be able to see the entire family. I wanted to hug them all tight and that not being allowed felt strange and sad. Perhaps as a demonstration that life is a rollercoaster, our big Christmas Tree tipped over the day after we had decorated it so beautifully. There it lay, in the middle of our living room. Some of the decoration broke, but not too many. We stripped off all the decorations and then we got it back up and redecorated the tree after which it looked as beautifully as before. Quite a powerful metaphor, right? It reminded me of those postcards that say:

Hinfallen, Aufstehen, Krönchen richten, Weitermachen.

Fall. Get back up. Adjust your crown. Continue.

Yes — If there was no South Pole there would be no North Pole. Without No there is no Yes and without Yes there is non No. Many things were not possible in 2020, yet other things would not have happened if 2020 hadn’t been like it was. Very likely, I would not have had an Etsy Store right now if it hadn’t been for Corona. There is good in every bad and bad in every good.

Zig zag — I came across a lovely image, not sure which book it stems from. There is a big panda that asks a little dragon that sits on his back:

“What’s important? The road or the goal? 
The little dragon replies: “The companions”.

I so love this image. Some people say, life is like a line, a life line, others suggest it is a circle, yet again others think if it as a spiral. I haven’t quite made up my mind yet but as I looked up all words with a Z, I thought it could well be displayed as a zig zag. With all its ups and downs, it is always moving forward. When I looked up Zig Zag in Google Images, I found a chair, from the Rietveld Academy. A lovely wooden simple but gorgeously designed Zig Zag chair. It reminded me that it does not always need to go forward. Breaks are allowed. Ups are allowed. Downs are allowed. And we all curve together, towards unknown territory.

Let’s enjoy the ride.

It may be a little late to say Happy New Year, I am going to do so anyway.

Happy 2021. Make it a good one!

P.S. Applause for making it all they way down here. To show my gratitude and perhaps brighten up your day, here’s a little 2020 springtime for you:

2020 has begun. A new year, a new decade. Before jumping into all the projects lined up for 2020, I’d like to take a moment to look back. Like the past year’s, I’ll go by the alphabet, including the challenge not to repeat a word I’ve already used in the past five years.

This might be a rather unconventional way of going about a year-in-review.

There’s power in doing things just slightly different.

Here we go:

Alzheimer

On the 21st of September it is World Alzheimer Day. It’s also my dads Birthday. In 2019 this day even had a triple meaning for me, as on that day, I handed my father my book 42 — An unexpected Gift. When my brother asked him that morning how old he turned he said: Fifty? It was a most elegant way to avoid saying “I don’t remember” and he said it with such a charming smile that it warmed my heart. It was a lovely joyous day surrounded by friends and family.

It is sad knowing that my father won’t be able to illustrate another book, but, boy, am I proud we were able to finish this one together! And I am just as proud of my mom, she turned seventy this year, still looks like a diva(shining on local TV twice last year) and even when things are far from easy, she keeps finding ways to keep going strong. Applause, applause from me.

Beef Wellington

It turned out my son is quite a gourmet. He was determined to make Beef Wellington and after watching dozens of YouTube videos, we made a most gorgeous looking, and even more deliciously tasting, Beef Wellington on two occasions. It is a joy to stand in the kitchen with him. His calm nature and his precision are admirable.

Connection 

In my 2018 review, I wrote about the luxury of having so much time at my disposal. In 2019, I had even more. Precious time, which made me be able to be at my parents when my mom needed to have surgery, when my parents celebrated their gold honeymoon, when my mom spend a night away with her sister to get out of the daily routine for a brief moment, as well as the days where together we cooked a network lunch for twenty-five ladies. Precious time as well, to spend with dear friends, on walks, sipping “tea at Tilda”, having dinners together and so on. One of the cards in my home office says:

Being somewhere is more important than getting somewhere.

There is a lot of truth to this. Perhaps more than we often tend to live by…

Dankbarkeitstagebuch 

On a random day last February, I decided to start a new Insta-project under the name @morgenszirkusabendstheater I started to post something I was thankful for. What was started out of a whim, became a project that led me through the entire year. There is a lots of literature that proofs the wonderful effects of being grateful and tracking your moments of gratitude. Looking through my 270+ posts makes me incredibly grateful.

Life is about the little things ❤︎.

Call it cliché if you want, but why not try it out!

Editor 

Working on my story with a professional editor, was one of the best learning experiences of the past years. One can read books, take courses, rewrite and rewrite but having someone else dive into your story and suggest edits was simply awesome. Red lines everywhere. Rework is demanding, but it made me realize how much I enjoy the polishing and the scratching. A book is never finished but at one point it has to be ready. I was grateful for having the 21st of September deadline and for knowing, I did everything I possibly could, to make this book the very best book I was able to produce.

Free 

One morning, as I wrote in my daily journal, I thought about freedom and about the many ways of feeling free. It might sound paradoxical but we are even free to be unfree. So often we’re told to go our own way and discard what those around us say. Don’t care so much about other people’s opinions is a rather common piece of advice. But fact is I care a lot about what other people say. In that way, you could call me unfree. I am far away from any sort of detachment. That morning, as I sat there, I realized that I am free to depend on others. I don’t want to rely only on my own superpowers and my own opinions. I don’t think it is wise to only depend on our own opinion, nor on a single other person’s opinion either. Rather than being free from what others think, we must keep inquiring and keep being curious about how others see things. We rely on each other, and it is good that way.

In the book Tuesdays with Morrie it said:

“In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when you get like me, you need others to survive, right?’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘But here’s the secret: in between, we need others as well.”

I want to thank the people around me, who gave me their piece of mind.

German Grammar

Even after more than twenty years, I never properly learned German grammar. The last two pages of my book, which contain my Thank You’s, were accidentally printed un-edited and those two pages contain a whooping 102 spelling mistakes…When I found out, for a moment, I was speechless. Then I shrugged my shoulders and decided it is what it is. At the German book reading, when I confessed my blunder, everyone told me it was refreshing rather than shameful. Someone compared it with the movie outtakes, she adored to watch. It’s hard to be proud of your flaws, but it is wonderful knowing that others judge you based on the entire package and that

it is perfectly fine to be absolutely imperfect.

My gratitude journal is full of grammar flaws and for 2020 I’ve decided to start a new website and not let my grammar deficits hinder me from publishing in English ánd in German.

Habits 

At the start of this year, I created a monthly habit tracking sheet. I filled it with a long list of things I wanted to track and ended up keeping track for I believe all of January. Yesterday, while searching for it for hours, I found all sorts of things but not the infamous tracking sheet. I seem to have buried it real well 😎. Should I interpret that fact in a philosophical way 😁.

No… I do believe our habits are a big part of who we are. Rather than continuing my search, I added a post on habits to my blog www.bigwigwords.com After that, spending more time on searching the lost sheet seemed redundant even though

I adored the unavoidable discovery process that comes as a side effect of searching for something.

Italy

A big highlight of the year was our three-week family trip to Italy. After having spent the past seven or eight summers in the Netherlands, driving through Italy was an adventure. We saw the west coast, the east coast, drove up the Venice where we spend a couple of days, to end our summer vacation at a lovely lake called Idrosee. That last week had absolutely everything we could have wished for. Great food, the lake right in front of the apartment, an exciting canyoning day, where we jumped 10 meters into ice-cold water and slid down 58 meters along rock walls. None of us had ever been canyoning like that before! A great experience to look back at fondly for years to come.

Job applications 

I sent out several applications and some of these jobs, I would’ve been keen on taking on. It is hard to explain, but whatever regret I may have felt the moment of receiving a rejection, it vanished in no time, There is something out there, that has my name written on it. I know quite a few people, who have gone through rough times applying for jobs. They looked back at that time with horror. I deliberately call my time off a mini-retirement. Which means, I get to do things other people may wait to do until they retire. Like writing a book! Making the most of this time is the most sensible thing to do.

When again will I have so much time that is not dictated by anyone else’s agenda?

Filling this precious time with existential anxiety is not going to do anyone any good. May 2020 bring what it will bring!

Kickstarter 

My biggest learning for 2019, next to editing the book, has been setting up a Kickstarter Fundraising Campaign. Putting together the videos, the verbatim etc. and then going out there and telling everyone about it, pushed me way out of my comfort zone. Six weeks long, I was not sure at all whether the effort would pay off, then, three days before the campaign ended, the goal was achieved. These campaigns are all or nothing, which makes them like roller coaster rides. Reading Amanda Palmer’s book “The Art of Asking” during the time was very enlightening.

”It is easier not to ask. Fear of rejection is bigger than whatever is asked for.”

I never expected it to be so hard to ask people to sponsor my book project.Every time a new backer joined in, it filled me with great love and gratitude.
Merci, merci beaucoup, to all my friends, and their friends, and some total strangers, for helping me make a dream come true.

Lighthouse 

In the village I grew up in, there is a lighthouse at the coastline. Volunteers help keep it intact and as soon as the winter passes it opens up for the public to climb the stairs and have a lovely ocean view. When I married my husband, we made pictures at the lighthouse. One of those photos covers my phone, so I carry that memory with me wherever I go. Last summer, there was an exposition in the lighthouse of artwork from local artists. My dad got to display his sailboats and he even sold two pieces of work. Both of my parents volunteer at the lighthouse since years and even when my dad can’t be of much help any longer, he still comes along and is part of the group. Perhaps the ocean keeps people young at the heart.

Morningpages

I am a journaler. Every year, I fill several notebooks. Last October, a read about the morningpage habit, where you write three pages every morning. It turned out this is a wonderful structure for continuity and brevity. Since then I’ve written my three pages almost every day. It takes me between 10 and 20 minutes and when they are filled, I start the day with a fresh mind.

Network

Being part of BFBM (Bundesverband für Frauen in Business in Management) and also Being Global in Bergisch Gladbach brings me the joy of meeting new people and new friendships start to build. The motto of BFBM is “women support women” which is something I wholeheartedly support. Last January, I ran a workshop at one of our DFBM evenings called Am I still me? It’s a great place to grow and test ideas and receive genuine feedback. When I was asked to take the lead of our regional group in Cologne I gladly accepted.

Ought to 

Years back, I wrote a short post called The great thing about the word should Certain ideas come back to us again and again. The should/ought to-idea is one of those. So often, we feel like we should do this, we ought to do that etc. and even the very opposite happens as well. We know, we are not obliged, we could easily say no, but we feel like doing it anyway because it feels like the right thing to do. This is where our freedom lies. Our freedom to do things our way. The great thing is that over the years, I’ve received so much encouragement for living in line with this idea, this realisation. People respect it when you don’t just blindly run by the rule book and I’m glad they do.

Podcasts 

2018 was the year I discovered ebooks, 2019 was the year, I discovered podcasts. My current favourites: The Tim Ferriss Show, The TED Interview, MUTmuskeltraining Tanja Peters, The Writing Coach, Erfolgreich im Herzbusiness, Happier with Gretchen, The Brendon Show and Commune with Jeff Krasno. Adding Podcasts to the mix did mean I consumed fewer books. I still keep track of them on Goodreads and ended the year at exactly 60 books, which was my reading challenge goal for 2019. If you want to see what I read here is my 2019 Goodreads Year-in-Books.

For this year challenge, I’ve put in only 24 books. Rather than reading new books, I am keen to re-read and write a lot more than I did in 2019. Another idea I am seriously playing with is to start my own podcast 😊.

Quiet 

When I get up during the weekend whilst everyone else in the house is still sound asleep, I sit on our living room sofa and all I hear is the sound of the birds. There are many birds in our tiny garden, hummingbirds, woodpeckers, pigeons, Black-billed Magpies, sparrows, you name it. Occasionally a squirrel speeds by as well. This quiet time has become very dear to me.

Readings 

This year I did two readings. One in the Netherlands, when I handed my book to my father and another one in Germany where I live. Both readings were a thrilling experience.

I absolutely loved reading out loud and seeing and sensing the audience’s response.

If there is something I would like to repeat in 2020 than it is doing another reading!

Surprises 

I adore surprises. In 2019 I threw my husband a surprise party for his Birthday and he did not at all see it coming. It was great fun. When one of our neighbours had his birthday, another neighbour and me were at a loss as to what to gift him and we ended up organising him a home-cooked “Senioren-Menü”. I am not sure if there is an English word for this. It is basically a dinner for elderly people. For those who can’t bite as well anymore. We did a hilarious planning session for this six-course meal and it tasted much better than you might think! I’ve been blessed myself with unexpected phone calls, cards and little gifts that made my heart sing. Also during my Kickstarter some of our friends really surprised me by showing their support in incredibly generous ways. Here is to more surprises! Keep them going!

Tuur 

Talking about surprises, my mom also keeps surprising me. She is always on to another project. One of the many projects she has been steering in 2019 was a storytelling bike-tour from the Netherlands across the border to Belgium. She wrote a smuggle story for this tour, in which the main character called Tuur, smuggled butter in his backpack while biking across the border. There was a ring involved, a little love story, a jealous neighbour, a shooting, a defect bike, a confidentially agreement signed in a bar, and so on. All year-round, the region I grew up in, is visited by dozens and dozens of German tourists. Therefore my mom asked me to translate the story and the route in German. Which I happily did. If you’re ever in the South of the Netherlands at the coastline and you love to bike than let me know, you can follow the TUUR-trail!

Unknowns 

One of the difficult parts of doing a mini-retirement is dealing with all the unknowns. What lies ahead? What would I like to lie ahead? What would I need to do, to shape, what lies ahead? What can I do to shape, that what is to come? Each of these questions has dozens of answers, each day new ones got added, and as there is hardly anything I can’t imagine doing, too few got rejected. So all these versions kept following me around. It could drive one nuts. I am glad though that I can confidently say it did not. Re-reading my morningpages assured me that I’m well equipped to deal with all the unknowns of life. There is this deep-rooted sense of aliveness at my very core that makes relativizing and re-energizing ever more effortless.

“Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.” — Hermann Hesse

Vietnam 

A few months ago, one of the members of Being global in Bergisch Gladbach asked if I would be willing to present my book in Vietnam at a literary festival. At first, I was flabbergasted. Me. Going to Vietnam? To present my book? Wow! So we met up and well, as I mentioned before, I love surprises. So I said yes, sure I would like to do that. Right now my book is being translated into Vietnamese! I’ve done the page setting for the first 21 chapters. Looking at those pages, with totally unfamiliar signs and words, makes me all joyful and excited.

Walks 

In 2019, I didn’t walk by far as much as I did in 2018, and that’s ok.

It is not about the miles we go, it is about the joy in the miles.

Walking is a bit like writing. Both bring my back to me core. If you see the photos in my year in pictures you may get what I mean.

X – Iphone X 

Since two years, my first self-bought smartphone has been my companion now. Slowly, I start to understand the smartphone addiction that is so often topic nowadays. The minimalist have a slogan that goes like this:

“Love People, Use Things. Not the other way around.”

So I won’t say I love my phone, but I do love the things I can do with my phone. Connect with friends, capture nature, keep up my Insta-appreciation journal, take pictures of my gorgeous friends, create patterns… I almost forgot…I created thousands of patterns of everyday little things that caught my eye and then turned them into tiny works of joy.

Yearly income 

The past three years my yearly income has been negative. As you can imagine that’s hardly sustainable. Especially not if you want to go to Vietnam, launch another book, join one of your best friends on a trip to New York for her 50th Birthday and so on.

I believe in being brutally honest about the status quo whilst being tremendously optimistic and open minded about the future.

Whatever 2020 will bring, it is the year where I’m going to have a positive income again 🙂

Zero Waste 

Rather than zero income a good goal would be zero waste!We are still far from this goal, but we’re making progress. We properly separate waste, we buy more unpacked groceries, we take a bag to the store, we’ve ordered a new residual waste bin that is only half as large as the prior one, I’ve bought only a handful of clothes in 2019 and so on. Friday’s for future have their impact which is good, and necessary. And a good topic to wrap up this year-in-review.

Thank you for your interest in my year 2019. I hope you look back fondly on yours!

And I wish you a most terrific 2020. May you all bloom 🌷.

Love

Titia

2019 a year passing by in pictures

Every year, I write up my year-in-review. This year, on top, I felt like creating a photo stream. Reviewing the days that pass, helps us know what makes our heart sing and therefore what to aim to for, the year ahead. What a blessing 2019 has been…

January — Clouds

and Blues

February — Silhouttes

Sun & Snow

& Foggy Trees

March — My first dog shoot—featuring Pepper

Lovely walks

& back to where I grew up …

April — On top of the world

& Springtime

May — Tying out my flash device…

Nature in full bloom

& Women in tech — congrats Laura!

June — Girlpower

& Our first Komoot Adventure

July — Bella Anita — 70 years young

Love knows no age

& We’re off to Italy

August — Venice

Idrosee

Our first Beef Wellington

& Gold for Mom & Dad 🤩

September — Book launch & Dad’s Birthday

& a dose of mindfulness

October — Autumn walks

& Time for family & friends

November — 2nd book reading

Neighbourhood Fun

& Sunsets

December — Lovely meet-ups

Working hard

& Cologne from the Dom

Happy 2020!